2022-07-09: The Right To Live

• Log: The Right To Live
• Cast: Azoth, Xantia, Xenia
• Where: Port Rosalia - The Docks
• Date: July 09, 2022
• Summary: Xantia finally manages to catch Azoth and show him the fruit of her very important rock-related labor. Then, in the middle of a discussion on Azoth's recovered memories, they are interrupted by an uninvited guest, desperately attempting to change fate...

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========================<* Port Rosalia - The Docks *>========================

Port Rosalia was once the second-largest port on Zoara, but the collapse of Celesti put a swift end to that. Many of its docks were destroyed in the war, and foreign merchants refused to do business in a "lawless" city. Recognizing the port's value, the Wei Trading Consortium talked Port Rosalia's leaders into a long-term contract. Once everything was signed, the Galadian firm sent in workers to rebuild the docks, as well as its own private security to "keep order".

Most of the port's surviving docks rest in Campbell Cove, a large sea cave that sheltered them from shelling. Outside of the cove, rows of inns and dockside taverns await travelers--some run by Wei, others by locals. Construction equipment is ever-present in the port, and so are the Consortium's security officers. The company's reconstruction efforts have hit snag after snag; some of the sabotage is undoubtedly the work of angry citizens, but Wei suspects that Anaheim is moving in to challenge its monopoly.

Port Rosalia may endure a second war, this one between wealthy Galadian corporations--and as always, its citizens will be the ones who suffer.

BGM: Wild Arms 4 - Port Irington

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Free time is something of an illusion when it comes to Azoth. Bound the way he is to Solaris, he has his own mission: an objective ruled by overrides, and then the objective under those overrides, still in pieces, struggling to come together. Even outside of that, there's the matter of the Shrines to get caught up in -- all too easy to end up doing when Azoth found a piece of himself there.

...A piece of himself he struggles with, largely in silence, while rolling around a gift of quartz crystal in his palm. Is it magic? If it were, would it work on someone like him? There is no evidence it would hurt, and there are other important things it helps him remember. So Azoth keeps it close.

He hasn't seen Xantia in a while. She's usually the best person to talk to about memory problems, though he's feeling less and less like he ought to be weighing her down with them. Her own are catching up with her, and he hasn't been able to find much information on Xenia. If only he had more of this mythical 'free time', indeed.

But in moments he can, Azoth 'patrols' in his own way, and Port Rosalia gets a quick haunt now and again to catch people he knows. He can spare waiting a few moments longer, idly shining light through the crystal and watching it project refracted light across the surface of lapping waves. It would be nice to think the patterns along the water would reveal something he's lost to him.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Though there's no signs of Port Rosalia holding any particular relation to Xantia's past, it's more or less turned into a central hub from which to organize searches from. Its proximity to the Celesti Wastelands, a known haunt of Xenia in the past, has much to do with that. Xantia's active leads have been drying up, to the point where it all seems to come back to Xenia as the only one who might be able to point her in the direction of what she seeks.

...If only she could ever catch Xenia in any situation where she didn't immediately want to punch her, which seems increasingly unlikely.

Even so, never one to be without optimism, Xantia finds herself returning to Port Rosalia often, keeping her ears open for any mention of her activities during times she wasn't even here. No surer sign of someone who has the same face as you do being up to something. No luck in that regard today. But as luck would have it, fiddling with her piece of crystal caused somebody to mention another weirdo who kept fiddling with something that looked a lot like it. And so...

"You're really hard to track down, you know that?"

Xantia's just waiting for Azoth to turn around towards the voice coming from behind him, so she can give him her brightest smile. "Hey, you, I was looking for you!" she clarifies needlessly, her eyes turning to the crystal in Azoth's hand. She raises her palm, displaying her similar shiny rock, before closing her hand around it. "I'm glad you like it so much. That makes getting you something even better all worth it."

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

At the sound of Xantia's voice, Azoth spins around to face her, smile broad and bright.

"Xantia!"

That grin of his turns sheepish in a hurry as he apologetically rubs at the back of his head. For all he was unable to emote before, he certainly knows how to lay it on thick when the algorithms responsible for such behaviors aren't deprioritized into oblivion.

"Sorry, sorry. I've actually been trying to keep an eye out for you too, but... well." He gestures vaguely. They both know all of the everything that can make that difficult -- for the both of them -- without needing a run down.

But all that forced brightness (and not any of it looks forced, but Azoth carries more reasons not to smile than reasons to, these days) subdues to something gentle as he looks back to the quartz in his hand.

"...Yes. Thank you. I wasn't able to tell you that before. When you gave it to me."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia calmly shakes her head. "That's alright. I could tell it helped you to have it. Even with everything that was going on, that part of you was still there. And knowing that helped me, too."

It can be easy to forget with how Xantia acts most of the time, but she notices an awful lot of what's happening beneath the surface. She still makes it hard to tell exactly how much she realizes of what's going on with Azoth that he doesn't outwardly show. Can she tell when brightness is forced? As an expert of unforced brightness, can she tell the difference?

That isn't something she's interested in discussing. Naturally, she's far more interested in what else resulted from their venture into the Ice Shrine. "I've been wanting to ask you about what you remembered..."

Only to immediately shift gears back towards maximum cheer. "But before that! Take a look at this!"

She needs a moment to actually retrieve it, returning the Memory Crystal back to the small leather pouch she carries, and replacing it with something else, which she displays on her open palm. "Ta-da~"

It's... a gemstone. One which looks an awful lot like the gem offered by Brunor back in the Shrine of the Ice Trial. Rather than cold and blue, this one is warm and red. Undoubtedly, there are other differences in its composition that will be immediately obvious to a rock connoisseur that Xantia would never notice. Those details don't matter to her, but she's quite obviously expecting this to be something that will make Azoth happy. That's what this is really all about.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Azoth's always known Xantia to be more perceptive than she might believe herself to be -- or perhaps even others might notice on the surface. She may be boisterous and upfront, but she's read between his lines before. Yet... he didn't expect her to see through that one. He doesn't much expect anyone to see him in that state, a weapon, and see... anyone.

There is open surprise on his face a moment until he smiles more warmly.

But, yes, the Ice Trial... Where a lot happened, and much was remembered, but some of it broken in complicated ways. Before he can calculate the best place to start on the mess of memories, Xantia introduces a new gemstone into the conversation.

Eyes glowing a touch brighter, Azoth perks up. Normally, he'd be pleased enough by witnessing a unique rock (and let it be known that all rocks are unique) but the particular traits of this one are familiar to a building pattern. Ice, shadow, lightning...

And fire.

"Is this from the Fire Trial?!" Azoth grins at her in excitement. "You found it, and you passed?" He inspects it again more carefully, admiring all its facets. "That seems fitting for you."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

"Sure is!" Xantia confirms readily where the find comes from, happy to see Azoth's enthusiasm. "When I heard there was another one of those shrines, I figured I could get another gem there, so I did! I hope you like it!"

That... kind of sounds like getting another gem for Azoth was the whole reason for her undertaking that trial, doesn't it? Though, she scratches her cheek, feeling sheepish about what she'll have to admit to in a moment.

"It... was actually really difficult for me. Well, the choice wasn't. Turns out Yvain was in charge of the trial, and he said we had to choose somebody to sacrifice. So obviously I said that I wouldn't let anybody do that. That's just what you do if you're asked to make a choice that'll always be bad. You pick an option that you weren't given."

She pauses there for a moment. That look she's giving Azoth feels like she's making sure that he took notice of that statement in particular. It's something she hopes anybody will take to heart, but Azoth is someone she feels is in desperate need of that sort of defiance, regardless of the circumstances.

She then sighs, and shakes her head. "Of course, then my brother got way too eager about sacrificing himself, and I had to deal with that whole mess. Really hope he'll keep his promise to stop doing that this time."

She lowers her head, and takes on a more apologetic tone. "I feel bad, but... after everything that happened there... it feels important that I keep this gem with me. I know how much you like pretty rocks, so I was going to give it to you, but it... doesn't feel right to do that now. I was kinda hoping that maybe you could just, I dunno, store the data, and that would be good too?"

She really does look like she was forced to tell someone the absolute worst news, and is feeling just terrible about it. This was clearly something she's been dreading to have to say to Azoth, and yet considered it important enough to seek him out over. Xantia's priorities can be a little strange... but her feelings couldn't be more sincere.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

That does sound, at least, like she intends to give it to him, and Azoth jerks his gaze up from the stone to her. "Well, of course I do. It's beautiful, but..."

But it's not really for him, is it...? Azoth points to himself questioningly until the story of what the Trial entailed gives him a start. Yvain did what?! Yeah, sure, it's a magical trial and all, but...! He can picture far too many of certain kinds of Drifters all too eager to throw themselves onto a figurative pyre.

Xantia's words strike straight to the core. Azoth smiles at her weakly before his gaze finds the ground. "It's good someone like you was in a trial like that."

Someone who knows how to take the options that weren't given. They're good words. Important ones. That Xantia so stubbornly lives by such wisdom is part of what makes her presence an important one. But Azoth's a different kind of being.

...Ah. And someone did try to sacrifice themselves. Azoth winces. "...Yeah, definitely glad you were there." He worries, for a moment, it might have gone poorly in more dire ways with how broken up Xantia begins to look. Azoth frowns in concern, then gives a wide eyed blink at the revelation.

He really should perfect laughing sometime to break tension in moments like these. Instead of that, Azoth tentatively reaches out to close Xantia's hand around the gemstone, smiling at her.

"I agree. You're the one who earned it, and in doing something that's so... you." He beams at her. "Besides, you're right that I've got the data of it now. And the data that you had wanted to give it to me. That's more than enough."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

For a good while, Xantia just sort of keeps looking at the hand Azoth closed around the gemstone. There was a time where she didn't understand that objects could serve as important reminders of certain events, and how that could greatly increase one's attachment to them. By now, it's abundantly clear that mementos play an important role in preserving memories. Even if her memory of events that she does recall is all but photographic, she still finds that sort of thing can affect her more strongly than she once thought possible.

"...Thanks," she finally says, managing to smile again as she puts the fire gem away. "I'm glad you understand, and that I could still give you something nice all the same."

She hesitates, visibly. She internally debates going into the Fire Trial more. Perhaps downplay the significance of her actions, just seeing them as doing the only thing that makes sense. But that'd ultimately just be stalling, wouldn't it? The Trial they really need to be discussing is not the Fire one. And not so much the Trial itself, moreso what happened after. She clears her throat.

"...Well! Now that we've sorted that out... how've you been since I last saw you? Are things, you know... any more clear to you?"

Purposeful vagueness. She wants to let Azoth say what he wants to say, without asking too directly about his memories. Even Xantia can be tactful, when she can see how it might be warrented.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Azoth pulls back, smile unrelenting. "It's nice this way. Probably nicer than you realize."

After all, sharing objects like this is about sharing thoughts and memories. An exchange of data, in its own way. And that's exactly what happened.

For a moment, Azoth does wonder if Xantia's going to continue. The Fire Trial does not sound like it was a simple one, and she would have had her work cut out for her trying to carve her own fate. Just because he likes to think Xantia carves her own fate for breakfast doesn't mean it isn't exhausting. Or possibly harrowing, at times.

But it loops back to him. Vague, yes, but Azoth understands what she's getting at, and that Xantia wants to leave it open for him. His smile falls, something weaker. Almost pained.

"Yes and no," he says. "...You know, my name isn't really 'Azoth'. Not in my own code. It's AZ-0012." Aye zee dash zero zero twelve is how he pronounces it. "I used to wonder... 12 of what? I knew there were others, but not who they were or how many. Turns out there were 3,464 of us."

He gets the memory quartz to look over again. Maybe it's a way of subduing his expression, so Xantia doesn't have to look at him if the conversation starts to feel too heavy.

"...I can't remember the moments I shared with them, is the thing. I should. The data's right there. I reclaimed it. But I sorta... stall out when I try to access it. Like a connection's missing? Or someone made sure if I ever found this data, the database wouldn't work."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia accepts the notion of 'nicer than you realize' without question. There's much she doesn't realize, even things that would be obvious to most. Just a fact of life to an amnesiac. It's not great, but there's no point in pretending otherwise. Besides, if it's about a good thing, like it is here, the how doesn't matter - she can just be happy that things ended up working out well.

It's not just simple curiosity that leads her to shift the topic back to Azoth, though that's unquestionably a part of it. At the time, she left Azoth in the care of Ragnell and Seraphita, both of whom she may not always be able to see eye to eye with, but she trusts to have Azoth's best interests at heart. She wasn't exactly in a position to do more for him back there, so she has little doubt it was the right call. Unfortunately, that means she also had no chance to see what it was like for him in the wake of recovering... whatever was recovered, exactly.

She frowns a bit at the designation, then goes wide-eyed at hearing the much larger number. "...That's a lot," is all she can say initially. 3464, and they're all Azoths? What was uncovered in the Shrine did resemble Azoth, but if that was one, that's the only other one she's aware of. To think that this was true even for Azoth himself, only to learn there were that many...

"That... must be difficult." Xantia can at least relate to one thing in there: "To remember an important detail, only for it to not serve much purpose except to remind of how much there is that you're missing... that's been my experience, too. I may not experience it quite the same way, but I do have that same sort of problem. I have the memories, I just can't get at them. No matter how close I feel I am, trying to think about certain things just ends in... static. It's like that, right?"

It's always a double feeling. Not wanting others to have to know what that feels like... but if they do, there's a special sort of comfort in the knowledge that they understand her better than most can. There's not exactly much she can do to help with that though, except to place a sympathetic hand on Azoth's shoulder.

"In which case... trying to force it won't work. You just have to have faith, and keep looking for that something that will unlock those memories for you." Yet she can't help but wonder out loud, "...Don't know what I'd do if I knew there were 3464 of me, though. Two is weird enough."

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

The recovery often isn't pretty in and of itself. Ragnell and Seraphita can only help so much before Azoth has to go back to an engineer on Solaris for his most extensive damages. A scenario few want it to come to, and Azoth usually tries to avoid. But after finding something, he'll always have to submit to evaluation.

Azoth's eyes brighten as Xantia relates her own experience with it. He points to her. "That. That exactly. Static." He mimics the sound of static on a radio to emphasize the point.

Machine that he is, it's always surprising to hear someone else have such a similar experience with it. Though there's what Xenia's been trying to say about Xantia...

...And like Xantia, he's not so sure it's a great thing anyone knows what he's going through. But like it or not, someone does. All they can do is be there for each other, perhaps.

He lowers his hand with her touch, managing a bit more of a smile. "You're right. Nothing I can do will bridge that gap in data. But I hope there's a way to remember them."

That smile of his falls again. "We don't have to worry about more of me. We were programs when we knew each other, existing in a digital space. Only one Azoth body was made... and I was the sole survivor who 'won' the privilege of using it."

He droops his shoulders. "It's so strange. I can remember all that, but not who they were as individuals. Or my feelings about them." The static plays again with a vague gesture of his hand.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia frowns briefly at the sound of static. Such a simple sound, and yet such powerful negative connotations. "...I'm sorry you have to know what that's like," she decides to express aloud. "But, I have to believe there's a way to get past the static, for you and me both." Because not believing it would be like giving up. That's not something one would be likely to see Xantia doing.

There was, however, more to the story than she was expecting. The hand that used to be on Azoth's shoulder covers Xantia's mouth in a gesture of mute shock. The way that was put, the 'sole survivor'... the knowledge is not just knowing there were more, but also that they are no longer there? She can't imagine what that must be like, only the feeling of being aware of a fact and not any of the details surrounding it. To have nothing but that empty feeling she's so familiar with, about such a significant loss...

The only thing she can think of to do is to embrace Azoth in a sudden tight hug. Rather... uncomfortably tight, given Xantia's strength and her tendency to momentarily forget to hold back her strength to the proper degree at times like this. At least it's only a brief moment of discomfort, since she breaks the hug rather abruptly, grimacing.

"I-- sorry, could you stop with the static sound? I really... don't like hearing that noise." It's not just something related to her missing memory. It also relates to events that she can recall... all unpleasant.

She knows that Azoth, of course, would not persist in making that sound if she asked him not to. Which is why it's a problem... when she keeps hearing it.

Xantia's demeanor changes abruptly. She looks around, worried. Afraid, even? Then her gaze suddenly affixes itself at some point in the distance. Though, try as he might, Azoth will not see anything of note there, Xantia certainly does appear to have noticed something there. She raises a hand as if to stop any questions.

"Wait here. I'll be right back. Do not follow me. Alright?"

And just like that, she runs off, rushing away from the docks down the harborside road. What was that all about? Would it be better to listen to Xantia's wishes here, or...?

The end result will be the same, however. Xantia can and will make herself difficult to follow if Azoth does so overtly. If done so surreptitiously, then too all that will be different is Azoth's position compared to if he had waited as asked. In all cases, he will be interrupted by the sudden appearance of a figure wearing a black cloak, leaping out in front of him and landing in a three-point stance. The cloaked figure then raises their head to reveal it's... Xantia?!

...Well, let's be real, there's no way that Azoth would think that even for a second. Even if Xantia didn't just run off and couldn't possibly have doubled back unnoticed this quickly, the transparent blue sunglasses immediately give away who this actually is. Xenia assumes that to be clear at first glance, which is why the first thing she does is press a finger to her lips, before she rises to an upright position.

"There's not much time before she figures things out, so be quiet and listen. There's something I need you to do. You haven't given me much reason to think you actually will, but... perhaps you've since learned a thing or two about what it can mean to recover one's memory. If you want to keep things from escalating with Xantia, then this is your chance. I'll tell you more in a second, but before that..."

Xenia looks from side to side, appearing mighty tense. Afraid, even? There's no more sign of any emotion by the time she returns her attention to Azoth, raising a single finger. "I believe in equivalent exchange, so... I think we've got time for one question. Ask me anything, but be smart about it. Ask something that I'm not able to answer, and you won't have a second chance. Quickly now, things won't end well if she sees me talking to you."

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Azoth glances to Xantia uncertainly when she shows her shock. There's always a twist of guilt in him when anyone reacts to his past -- to his pain. Is it manipulative, to drop all these weak little smiles, or to look sad about it, when he's a machine mimicking expressions and body language to say something? Is it right to look hurt, knowing they'll hurt with him when he does? Ragnell once told him that's how it works, though not in so many words. Sharing pain with others is part of having friends. But spreading the hurt seems so... wrong in its own way.

Xantia embraces him, and he lets himself lean against it, even if it's too much. He's solid, and the harder the squeezes, the more secure it is, really. Yet that feels wrong, too. But there's an emptiness there now. Even if he found the data, it would be empty: he wants to remember, but they're already gone. What does he think he's going to find there besides grief? But if he doesn't remember them as alive, as existences that mattered, who is there left that will?

There are little things that make the emptiness smaller. This is one of them.

At her request, Azoth indeed abruptly cuts off the sound. "S-Sorry. ...Xantia? Are you all right?" She does not look well. Azoth reaches out, and then she's off --

"Xantia!"

Don't follow, she says, and Azoth's not sure he's gotten a request more difficult to follow. His code itches. Arcs of electricity crawl across his finger. He tries, desperately, to scan along where she's gone, for any heat or ether signatures matching what he knows of her.

But he waits. Because he told himself before he would trust Xantia when it seemed her friends were certain they knew better for her in some ways, and if their roles were switched, he would mean his request with every fiber of his synthetic being and it would be important.

He's not sure if he regrets or not when he comes faced with Xenia, mouth open, but no sound coming out when she motions for silence. A small token of cooperation in hoping this goes in a better direction than it usually does. Xenia looks afraid, too. Like Xantia...

Azoth's face goes blank. Robotic and monotone. Any question, Xenia offers. But one Xenia is willing, and able, to answer... And ideally, one he can believe she'll be honest about.

"Is who she was before so undeserving of existence?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Whatever Xantia thought was suddenly so important is important enough to not look back or hesitate the slightest bit when Azoth calls her name. Xantia is unique in enough ways to make tracking her movements from afar easy enough, though determining what's out there to prompt her actions is anything but. Although the subsequent appearance of Xenia likely does much to recontextualize this event.

Either way, Azoth's hesitation allows plenty of opportunity for Xantia's twin to make her appearance, and say what she has to say. Given how things went last time, she has plenty of reason to assume that things will go poorly this time, as well. Yet she made the effort anyway. What might that mean?

Her surprise by the response she gets is clear by the look on her face. Not even a little sass this time. And what a question he's decided to pick. An eyebrow raises.

"That's a subjective thing to ask. Wasn't expecting you to care about my opinions." Still, she made a promise. She's not about to go back on it.

"No. None of it is her fault. She didn't get to choose who she was. I think you know a thing or two about that. That's part of why I think you're qualified to save her from herself."

Having answered the question, stated simply as fact without a hint of emotion, she continues in the same vein. "Now listen carefully. Right now, there's only one thing you can still do to keep things from escalating. And I don't think this request will be nearly as hard as what I asked of you last. Put simply, if she forces a confrontation, there'll be nothing more I can do. So whatever you do... you must keep Xantia away from me."

Xenia casts a quick glance in the direction Xantia ran into, before looking back to Azoth. "I have something else to say to you. Some conventional wisdom from the far past that I think deserves your careful consideration." She delivers this wisdom with all due gravitas.

"'No tool should be capable of results that go beyond the imagination of its wielder. If it proves otherwise, the wielder was never qualified to wield it, or designate it as a mere tool to begin with.'"

That said, she adds in her normal tone of voice, "You think about that, Azoth. You let that sink in good, and don't forget to factor it into your calculations."

Given her poise, she appears ready to make herself scarce on that statement. Any words to follow will have to be quick.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

It's an opinion Azoth suspects Xenia will at least slip some truth into, when she has, as far as he can tell, a number of reasons to lie. It's something that's at the heart of all of this. It's something Xenia has to convince Azoth is true before she can expect his help. It's also something of a trick question when you're an AI no one wanted to be alive, who was one of 3,464 programs, every other one deleted, labeled undeserving.

"I do know," he says, and his voice is wrong and resonates with something bigger than he is right now.

He does not elaborate, understanding too much interruption risks her fleeing before this is done. She's scared and she's in a hurry. Because something happens if they meet. Something happens if Xantia pushes this.

Trust Xenia's word, betray Xantia. Act recklessly, and risk a consequence he doesn't understand. What do you do if you're asked to make a choice that's always bad? He wishes he were more like Xantia, able to see the impossible options among the piles of terrible decisions.

Xenia's wisdom is taken with a faint glowing of Azoth's eyes. He seems disinclined to emote for her further than that. But it's a visible sign he has taken it in. It can apply to his situation, but the calculations he's applying it to at the moment are on Xantia. And Xenia. Other calculations are scrambling. He needs data, but it's been so difficult to grasp. There's the overbearing sense that one wrong move could cause irrevocable pain, and the worst pains aren't always what the best intentions think it is.

"This isn't enough information. Will you find me again?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

'Will you find me again,' Azoth asks. "Pff," is Xenia's initial response, a stifled laugh. A moment later, she replies more properly, "Will you develop an ounce of self-worth? If so, I'll think about it." She changes her stance to one that overtly shows she's about to break into a run, but before actually doing so, leaves a few more words of caution.

"Oh, and Azoth? Think very carefully about what you're going to say to her in a few seconds."

In a flash of blue light, Xenia is gone. Quite unlike Xantia, there's no tracking her. The insane speed at which she moves is one thing, but any sort of scan of Xenia always seems to run into some sort of active countermeasure, yielding nothing but an error as it gets caught in an infinite calculation loop.

There isn't much time to consider things, because just as Xenia warned, seconds later Xantia comes rushing back from the direction she ran into, looking very distressed. She stops some distance removed from Azoth, looking around in frustration, mumbling to herself before turning to Azoth and asking him directly, "Did you see Xenia around here?"

Not much time indeed to make at least a tentative sort of judgement call.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Azoth affords her the narrowing of his eyes at that statement. Even someone he lacks trust for and has no fondness of, it seems, is allowed to know she is right about something. Or is that, too, part of some ploy? He does try to track where she goes and he gets the robotic equivalent of dizzy trying.

Despite this, his expression is instantly back to the same one of concern he had when Xantia went running off the second Xantia is back. "Xantia..."

There is not much time, no, but Azoth's calculations run quick, and Azoth already knows where he stands on certain matters. He will treat Xantia with the same respect she would treat him, no matter what anyone else has to say on the matter. Not Xenia. Not even Citan. That's the logical conclusion he's come to.

It's not the 'self-worth' Xenia was hoping for, he imagines.

"I did. I wasn't able to track where she went, though." He glances down. "I'm sorry. Whenever she shows up, I'm never able to get more information out of her."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia obviously isn't pleased by that bit of information, but at least it's not Azoth she directs her anger to. "Ugh, she tricked me! She can make me think she's somewhere she's not now, too!? I won't fall for that next time!" She slams her right fist into her left palm for emphasis.

With a deep sigh and a shake of her head, she reassures Azoth, "It's not your fault. She's been spying on me again lately. She must've noticed I was onto her and lured me away. It's fine, she probably won't say anything to you, she seems to really not like you."

Given what she knows of what happened in the fight with Xenia in the Kattelox dig site, she's drawing the conclusion that an actual notable conversation between Azoth and Xenia isn't a thing that's likely to happen. And so she isn't asking for any more details. Isn't it convenient to not have to tell lies, but to simply not correct mistaken assumptions?

"Anyway, I shouldn't have just... run off like that. I could've at least told you what was going on. Need to remember to keep thinking clearly... sorry about that."

See, everything's fine, she's even apologizing!

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Xenia certainly does not like to seem Azoth. He's not used to that! He's usually so good at making people like him! You really can't please everyone... even when you are willing to nudge your persona around a bit per situation. Granted, he showed more of his own dislike that time.

Azoth smiles despite this assessment. "I'd be more worried if she did like me at this point. Is that why you didn't want me to follow you?"

Yet Xenia does keep coming to him all the same. She still thinks he can be the one to help Xantia. But what is Xenia's definition of helping...? Even if Xenia were correct, are her hopes sustainable?

There isn't enough information. It's one of Azoth's least favorite things.

"Hey, I get it. I've run off on you, too." Azoth gives a waning smile. He's not so sure their situations are all that different in this regard. "You seem more intent on catching her this time. Did something happen?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia, unlike usual, answers the question regarding her reasoning in a short and vague manner. "Sort of." Her expression tells more of the story there, the pensive frown suggesting that she isn't completely sure herself why she acted like she did, and that troubles her. She, too, has not enough information. Regarding Xenia, and regarding herself.

Did something happen? Even that, she isn't sure about. Xantia scrunches up her face, then shakes her head. "I don't... think so? I guess it's just... lately I have this extra strong feeling that I need to stop Xenia from whatever she's planning, or something bad will happen." She shrugs. "Ultimately I'm just doing the same thing I always do. Following my intuition. Even if I don't know why I'm doing something, I feel like I'm going to be really sorry if I don't do what my intuition says I should, you know?"

She pauses, then tilts her head at Azoth. "Am I making sense? Sorry if that doesn't make sense. I should eat something, I make more sense when I'm less hungry."

A bold claim. Demonstrably false, even. But it feels accurate to Xantia. Everything else goes better after food, why would making sense be any different?

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

That Xantia, so straightforward, is not quite sure, launches Azoth's worry up a few notches. Xenia may be right that something is escalating, something no one is going to be able to fully control or properly predict.

He wonders if Xenia and Xantia are much the same. Stop the other based on a feeling that neither one is able to explain. Xenia talks like she has a reason she won't share, but what if it's that simple...? Ugh, all these questions, and so little data to answer them with...!

"You do make sense," he assures her, his voice gentler. "It's everything else that isn't quite adding up. ...I don't know what's going to happen, either. Who we were, and who we are... Seems to be getting kind of complicated, huh?"

It's his turn to try putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I can't make promises easily. But whatever happens with all of this... You've the right to live. And to live freely. I want to fight for that." He pulls back, twisting a more easy smile back on. "In the meanwhile, we probably should get you something to eat."

Maybe she won't make more sense, but she won't make less. ...Right?

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Feeling like you make sense yourself, but most everything else doesn't. Another feeling that Xantia is intimately familiar with. One which she can never be sure is accurate, and she can only assume is only because of her missing memory. That's always what it comes down to in the end, isn't it?

She starts when Azoth puts his hand on her shoulder, having sunken into thought and not expecting the gesture. Yet the words surprise her more. Cause her to be at a rare loss for words even, unsure how to respond. Ultimately, she smiles, seemingly oddly bashful for the normally so confident Xantia.

"That's not how this was supposed to go... I was going to be supportive of you, now you're being all supportive of me. But... thanks. It means a lot, that you want to do the same for me that I want to do for you."

Even if neither of them can give guarantees... they can at least do their best in what ways they can. In such a genuine moment of sincerity, who can even think about food?

"What do you mean 'probably', every time is a good time to eat! I know this great place down this way..."

Yeah... that wasn't a real question anybody would actually ask, was it?