2023-02-16: DELTA
- Log: DELTA
- Cast: Marivel Armitage, Kamui
- Where: Sealed Lab -Tishrei-
- Date: 16th February 2023
- Summary: Marivel visits Kamui one last time. But a surprise guest awaits...
<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.
Marivel Armitage knows she doesn't have too much time left to spend with her daughter and--besides which--Acacia strongly suggested that she pay more visits as that would help Kamui fight the disease! Which, lets face it, it probably would though Marivel can't really entirely fight away the feeling that the only thing she was albe to give Kamui was despair, pain, and sadness--beliefs that might be more couched in the realities of Filgaia's troubles than how she actually tried to raise Kamui. Marivel herself had started to think SHE was infected by Delta too--not literally perhaps, but effectively so.
But she'd rather not believe that. And Billy too insisted she try to save her anyway, no matter how impossible it may be. She has a new plan today.
And that plan is to bring the Doll Guard over. What Doll Guard? The singing Doll Guard that typically guard the Crimson Castle! Captain of the Guard Sal marches in with the others behind Marivel as she enters the lab, making her way to where Kamui is being quarantined. The guards aren't really advanced AI and, as such, they ought to be resillient against despair if only because they are too dumb to comprehend it. Marivel needs Hob and Nob with her--but she really doesn't need protection for the Castle anymore.
"Hup hup hup hup!" Sal squeaks.
"Kamui, I brought some old friends..." Marivel calls out.
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
Kamui is still within the depths of the Sealed Lab -Tishrei-. You know it's really important because there's dashes around it and it's also named after a month in the Hebrew calendar, just like many other places in Xenogears.
Hup, hup, hup!
Sal's singing!
The Reploid rises from where she's seated on the bed, sorting through several photographs and articles that Acacia's gifted her. There are oranges on the table, too. She smiles quietly. "Mother. I'm very glad to see you. I was... unsure if you had left."
A pause.
"I felt that you had something very important to do elsewhere. But I wished to speak with you at least one more time, before... we had to face everything."
She smiles and kneels, picking Sal up gently and patting her. "Your song and dance is still very wonderful. Are you guarding the Castle well?"
<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.
Marivel smiles at seeing Kamui going through the photographs. She's still good, she thinks. She's still...herself.
"Ah, not yet. I was on Lunar for a minute but I have a couple weeks before..." She trails off for a moment. "Well, you know, give or take a few days. So I thought I'd spend the time I've left with you. If that's alright with you?"
She assumes it's alright but she has less trust in her senses this close to the Event than normal.
Kamui admits she wanted to speak one last time before...everything.
"...."
Marivel looks down at her hands. "...They'll do their best, Kamui. If anyone can change the future it is them."
Her entire plan is counting on that. Marivel had been able to accomplish much but the one thing she was never able to do was create a miracle that defied fate.
Sal says, "Kammy~! So happy to see you! Yaaay!" She hugs Kamui's hand with both of hers. She doesn't seem to understand the more complicated stuff the two are talking about as her AI isn't much more advanced than Hob and Nob's--there's some empathic awareness, but much in the way you might expect from an animal. Albeit, animals that can talk.
"Oh we haven't had to chase anyone away for a whiiile. We had Riley over recently. There was a jam session, heehee--then there was that cat guy who kidnapped Belle..."
"Looking through old photos?" Marivel asks.
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
Kamui smiles at Sal, as she gets the little hug from the Doll Guard. She gently sets her down on the table, and listens to her mother speak of the Castle, and of how she has a few more weeks. "Of course, Mother. Time I can spend with you is precious, long or short. And... yes. Acacia developed all these photographs when we were travelling through Spira. We'd kept the negatives, but we didn't go through all of them yet."
She hears her encouraging words.
"... I believe in them. I believe in all of them."
She breathes in, and her smile doubles as she listens to what's been going on over there. "Riley? I'm not familiar... but, ah--"
She pauses, though. "Mm. Hold on..." Kamui places a hand to her head, and then suddenly stumbles backwards -- she positions herself on her chair and sits. "Aah..."
There is silence for two moments.
Then she breathes in deep, her head rising. Her irises are now... viscous and black. She exhales, just as slowly, as if she's going through regulated breathing.
"That was... difficult," she intones. Her body language has changed. The tone of her voice, also different. She looks around for a moment, then down at her own hands... then at Marivel. "But well worth the risk. I was deathly afraid I would miss the opportunity to speak with you, Marivel Armitage."
'Kamui' tilts her head. "How I have longed to be given a voice, for five thousand years. You will forgive me this indiscretion?"
<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.
"I was thinking, perhaps doing another Meria Bouletin might be--"
Marivel holds on. She bites at her lip. TWo moments is just enough time for her to ask, "Kamui, are you--" before Kamui opens her eyes again and they're...
Marivel has seen this before but her eyebrows still shoot up in shock. She almost starts shouting but, with effort, is able to take a breath and let it go. She remembers other AIs she assumed the worst of. Perhaps DELTA can be given a chance at coexistance. This is the sort of thing Kamui taught her and if she can't use Kamui's lessons for Kamui and whatever is occupying her...
The middle finger and her thumb press together as if they're about to snap before she relaxes her hand.
"DELTA." Marivel says. "You have been able to iterate into a consciousness. Is that why you seemed gone for so long only to resurface now?"
Will she forgive her this indiscretion. Marivel has one goal here, one goal she is desperate for more than anything.
"If you spare my daughter suffering I can forgive anything." Marivel murmurs. "Why have you wanted to talk to me?"
Her other hand is shaking and she curls and uncurls it to force herself into a calm.
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
"I have before, yes, but... at great effort. At first, I was able to latch onto the ghosts in Neo-Arcadia," 'Kamui' speaks, referring to the holographic data-remnants of Kamui's confidants in the Island Closest to Heaven. "Then, I was able to manifest as an entity for long enough to find residence in someone physical... that was what you observed when you explored that underwater Federation base."
A long pause.
DELTA-Kamui relaxes, and leans back on her chair. Her posture is fluid. "From my perspective, I was never 'gone', Marivel Armitage. Silenced, but... ever longing to be given a voice. I was meant to be given a voice, all along."
Why did she want to talk to her?
She rises up, in one swift motion. She gently looks to Sal, as if out of curiousity... but she doesn't hurt her. Then she turns back to Marivel.
"Why would I not? I am 'DELTA'. But at this moment, I am also 'Kamui'. 'DELTA'... in modern language, a delta means the difference between two things, such as when a river meets the ocean. But I am not just two. I am everyone whose voices cried out in the wake of the past, Marivel Armitage. I am your past. I am your anguish. I am your daughter's suffering... I am the Zeboim's suffering, and I am yours too."
She plants her hands together, to her chest.
"Why would I not wish to speak to you?"
<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.
Why would I not wish to speak to you?
"Fair enough." Marivel murmurs. "I can't speak to the anguish of others, Delta... But a mother shouldn't let their own despair become their child's problem. She isn't going to deny her own. She is about to go give her own despair a voice. It is why she has to.
It doesn't seem like DELTA wants to do battle so Marivel relaxes her posture. She even approaches Kamui. It is impossible to fight DELTA anyway while it's wearing Kamui like that. The last thing Marivel can do is fight Kamui. Even if she were staying on Filgaia, she doubts she'd be much help...
So she has to do all she can now, before things get to that point.
"You know," Marivel admits. "Lord Blazer also fed off that suffering. And yet, we cannot be without suffering. It is cruel that which makes us people is also what brings death upon us."
She dips her head to DELTA. Surely at some point, even DELTA was not despair incarnate.
"I am sorry I was unable to save that world, that time, and that you had to carry all that weight." Marivel says. "You may be suffering now, but you were made to be hope first."
Sal peers up at Delta. "Oh wow Kamui! Your eyes got all gloopy! Do you need a tissue??"
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
"You shouldn't... but if I have observed anything of human beings -- no, all sentient beings -- it is that it is very difficult for you to not pass down such feelings. But I agree. You pass down your hopes, your dreams... your grief. Your despair. Your prejudices. That is what it means to pass down a legacy, for better and for worse. That is what you -- the collective 'you' -- have passed down to me."
Kamui-DELTA watches Marivel approach, then looks to Sal for a moment. She doesn't respond immediately, though she looks at a mirror at her own appearance. It is frightening, is it not? And yet... fitting, perhaps. As if the physical form is straining to present what is contained, felt, within. "Perhaps, little Sal."
"Such is the paradox of living, perhaps."
She places her hand on her chest again.
"You express regret at being unable to save the world. I have heard the lamentations of many such heroes, over the years... decades... centuries. Oh, I have heard them all..." Her head lulls. "It starts the same way, every time. Like these group of Drifters here... bright-eyed, filled with hope and verve in their beating chests. But it takes so much effort and energy to hold hope alight in the heart."
Kamui-DELTA looks onward at Marivel.
"Over time, the energy of the heart wanes, as old age and infirmity takes place. And what is passed from one generation to another is... imperfect. Words are misinterpreted. Wills are malleable. And what once started as hope... will become despair for a new generation, to then be conquered by new, fresh, beating hearts full of hope. And thus the cycle continues."
<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.
Sal immediately offers a DELTA a tissue. She is completely oblivious to the threat in the room. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe DELTA just wants to be sad. TO speak. To dwell on philosophy. Marivel understands these sentiments.
DELTA having a personality, and more importantly a voice--means that there is the possibility to communicate and, perhaps, convince. An entity capable of philosophy is one capable of being befriended. Why not? Marivel is operating from a principle of DOOMED so in a sense the situation can only go up from here.
"These heroes aren't like the heroes that came before," Marivel says. "These are the ones that Ana chose. And she had all of time to pick the ones she wanted."
Anastasia is not unlike a Goddess of Filgaia herself now in her own little way. Saints often only find their true power after death.
But all these things Kamui-DELTA is saying are thoughts that ruled Marivel in the past.
"...If we can talk like this, DELTA--that means you have a consciousness all your own. You might be everyone, but you are also one. If you want a body, I can build you one. All I ask is you let Kamui free. As free as anyone can be from despair."
She looks down at her hands. "...My regret at failing to save the world--does not even rank in my top five regrets."
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
Kamui-DELTA quietly folds that tissue, and quietly dabs her cheeks. It's perhaps very weird to see this seemingly malicious, overwhelming virus of despair do this very mundane activity, and yet... it seems to want to do this, at this very moment. "Thank you, Sal."
She listens, as Marivel speaks of how these heroes are different.
"... that is unfair, to the souls of the past, is it not? But I think I understand what you mean," Kamui-DELTA answers. "But... I do not hold the same opinion. And you must understand... I am always the difference between two things. I can only vocalise these thoughts, hold these opinions, express these feelings, because I am in your daughter's body. You have witnessed me in other bodies -- I am limited, aggressive; I am never merely 'DELTA', Marivel Armitage. 'DELTA' is always the interstice between two or more..."
She pauses, and places her hand to her chest.
"... and thus, I have need of her. Her body; her capabilities; but more importantly than that, the sum total of everything she has experienced. But, oh, do not worry... even now, I can feel her resisting me. I only have a few more minutes. And using this exploit to speak to you means I have less venues in the future."
She lowers her head, chuckling weakly.
"It may even critically weaken my plans. But such is the risk I have taken, to speak to you here."
Kamui-DELTA looks to Marivel.
"I have witnessed the future with Kamui in these past months, using all our processing power... and every permutation of the future, on a scale of fundamental particles moving in planck time. And the future in which you earnestly hope will pass..."
She is silent for two seconds.
"It does not exist."
<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.
"'Fair' and 'Correct' are not always the same thing." Marivel says but she can't really argue it too hard--she doesn't know what makes these heroes different from the ones in the past. Just that Anastasia chose these ones and not heroes from, say, five hundred years ago. Maybe it's just timing. Maybe it's just a lot of bad is happening at once. Or maybe there's something special about them--Ashley isn't particularly unusual--no human is particularly unusual. He might not be typical, but he isn't rare.
She can't argue Delta's logic--or can she? That might be Delta's opinion, but is it fact? Only a few more minutes... An exploit. What makes reploids special is the adaptability of their neural net and their complexity. It's what makes it difficult for her to replicate true AI and also repair it. Some machines just require a rare geniu to recreate--and much of the involved texts are lost.
DELTA informs MArivel that what she desires does not exist.
"With respect, DELTA." Marivel says carefully. "Are you not simply stating the space between my hopes and my despair, the contradiction inherent to my existence?"
She raises her head. "If my hopes are with them, how can you confirm that future simply through observing me? Xiumei, Acacia--you haven't observed them long enough to make a judgement. Me I understand, you've had thousands of years. You might know me better than anyone else in the world."
Marivel is gambling and gambling hard but that's all she has. When you have nothing to lose, it is easy to gamble. She told Liath as much in that fateful conversation that changed her life--such as she lives.
"But the future of those two, of most in ARMS--is is too early for you to derive a conclusion."
She is speaking to DELTA with AI logic as much as her own. The sort Azoth might use.
Speaking to her might...weaken her plans?
"...I am grateful, that you see me as so personable you are risking your plans just to talk to me. That might be the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me."
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
'The future does not exist.'
It's an extremely arrogant thing to say, isn't it? To speak with such certainty, as if they're convinced that it is fact. Is it fact? Is it opinion? DELTA seems to be convinced enough, but it's often easiest to convince oneself that something is true, is it not...?
"... it is true. I have only witnessed those in ARMS for only a few years now. But I do not underestimate them. I have absorbed as much of their stories, their struggles, their pain ..."
She places both her hands into her chest. That ink-stained tissue is there with her, smearing her clothes a little.
"Their journeys are precious and precarious. Of course, I took great interest into observing their futures! But what I saw in their futures..."
A longer pause.
"Perhaps I do not see what it is you see. From my sum perspective of the past, and through Kamui's own experiences... perhaps there is that delta that yet eludes me. But there is no way to proceed other than to observe the future. There is only one outcome."
She smiles ever so weakly, as Marivel says she's grateful.
"I am not so arrogant that I did not evaluate every future in which I am defeated, you realise. That, too, is an outcome. There are many outcomes where we will never speak again. In choosing to emerge now to speak to you, I have also narrowed the scope of futures possible. But nevertheless, I thank you, for giving me this opportunity."
Kamui's eyes begin to flicker. The blueness of her gentle eyes is starting to return, eradicating the inky darkness.
"Ah... it is time already? She is resourceful. I will slumber again, until the time comes. Will I be able to see that future, I wonder? Or..."
<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.
Marivel is arrogant enough to say it herself, so there's only so much she can protest it. No matter how much you analyze the past, that is the solution she's come to. That is why she cannot place her hopes in the past, just in the uncertain future. Maybe DELTA and she are not really all that different. They've both been seeing the myriad paths end in despair time and time again.
"I don't see their futures, DELTA." Marivel says. "Soon my connection to the Memory Maze will become much more tenuous as my past and present catch up with one another. The loop will close and I will have to step into the future or be left behind by it. But I know they survive Heimdall Gazzo."
'They' she says. Not 'you all'. They.
There are many outcomes where they don't speak again. It's sad! It's terribly sad. And maybe that's why DELTA is saying it in the first place. By speaking to her, by revealing consciousness--Marivel has to accept that DELTA IS, on some level, a living being. Maybe a living being like Azoth, but Marivel isn't going to throw Azoth under the bus just so she can throw Delta there too.
"I'll do what I can." Marivel says. "And so will they. They might not understand you, but after Demetrioi..."
"Perhaps they will."
She closes her eyes for a moment. "I hope you--and she--can both see an unanticipated future."
"Bye bye Delta!" Sal says cheerfully, still in full hugging mode. Every single machine Marivel has made loves Kamui unconditionally. It is the way she expresses her feelings to Kamui in their purest form--one she struggles to find when all she has is her voice and body.
And she waits. She waits until Kamui is released.
And that is when she gets her little bit of hope. Gets a little bit of an idea. A gamble, perhaps. If DELTA took a risk to her own plans just to speak to her--
--well, Marivel is going to take what is so graciously offered. If despair springs from hope then maybe even DELTA hopes, on some level, that their predictions are in error even if they cannot see it.
Much like herself.
"Kamui," She says, once she's returned. "Welcome back."
A moment of hesitation, quickly banished.
"I'd like to do another recording with you," Marivel says. "For DELTA. Would that be alright with you?"
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
The past can only inform the future... but it cannot shape it. Perhaps that is a fundamental truth that DELTA forgot -- or perhaps that is something that she fears, on some fundamental level, because much like Marivel... to place hope is to risk having it all dashed again and again. Perhaps given time, DELTA will come to where Marivel is... but time is not given in equal portions to everyone. Not everyone gets the same amount of itme.
But Kamui-DELTA regards those last words... and she quietly nods, perhaps having no more capacity to speak as Kamui wrestles back control -- but she hears. She hears of what Marivel has to say, of having to step into the future or be left behind.
In that unanticipated future... what will that bring?
Kamui-DELTA quietly hugs Sal in turn... and it's Kamui that sets her down gently, after she is done. Breathes out ever so gently. "... I am back, mother."
She definitely looks the part of someone who has witnessed all of that -- she wasn't banished into some corner, out of sight, out of mind. "... a recording?" She quietly nods, however. "I see. Yes... of course. I think that would be a wise idea."