2023-06-04: The Final Flower
- Log: 2023-06-4: The Final Flower
- Cast: Xander Lovell, Riley Arwell
- Where: The Blood Garden (Riley and Xander’s shared dream world)
- Date: June 4, 2023
- Summary: Riley investigates how much longer he and Xander have before their mission is complete, and unpacks some unsettled business from their last encounter with heroes.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley finds himself in the Garden for the first time since Xander managed a kill that granted them reprieve from the curse. There's a strange, futile hope that grips him, and he makes his way toward the site of the Final Flower, held within a mountain cave at the center of the Blood Garden.
What if... ... they did already make it bloom? Could it be possible that Xander's instincts were right, and the threat to their souls was always some kind of metaphor, or already fulfilled by their dark service to Valmar?
If it's already blooming and they're still here, that would mean... no time limit. That whatever the worst is, it's already happened. Maybe even no more cycle of thorns if the Garden is satisfied and no longer hungering for fresh blood.
It's a long trek over lands Riley still remembers as a desolate wasteland from his earliest days with the Fangs. Now they're lush and blooming with crimson waterways and trees dotted with flowers and laden with fruits that are surely poisonous or otherwise tainted, but tempting enough that he grabs one along the way anyhow.
Finally, he reaches the cave, and... ... stops short, his breath catching. The flower now sits on a tiny island at the center of a pond, surrounded by lotuses, the red liquid surely all but touching its roots. But the flower itself remains withered and closed.d
They must have missed reviving it by the barest margin. And there surely isn't even one more life to spare. Riley pictures again that chaotic, frenzied moment where Xander almost went on a killing spree. Saving them and coming so close to destroying them in the same moment.
"Oh my god..."
Riley starts to stress eat the poison fruit.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
After the last brush with the end and bringing about someone else's to avoid it, Xander finally collapsed from his exhaustion. A long needed sleep, only achieved because of how ragged his body had been run, and a need to finally recover lost blood. There was so little room for fear, doubt, or regret.
But sleeping is so rarely just sleeping. When Xander's consciousness stirs in the garden, he fights, as he so often does, to 'stay asleep'... as if there can be sleep within a dream. With a sigh, Xander pries himself from vines and shakes his head free of the red petals sprinkled over him. He lazily watches on fall into the still lake right beside him, sending ripples against its crimson surface. Blood, all of it.
Riley's presence is here, but further in. Ugh, he's making Xander walk. Dream walk, but he decides the crime shall be no lesser for the context. His confidence in this verdict grows and grows the farther Xander must travel through the fields of flowers and thorns, over bloody rivers and under the shade of bountiful trees. Xander lingers, checking around them to make sure Riley is not stuffing his face with poisoned fruits.
...Which Riley absolutely is, within that final mountain cave. It's... pretty, in here. Hauntingly so. There's probably more poetic ways to describe it. But that's all Xander's mind comes up with: it's pretty. The final flower isn't something they can let bloom. Except... it would be so pretty, wouldn't it...?
No. Xander swallows back his own dread. That would mean -- it's already so close.
But close doesn't count.
"Stop that," Xander sighs, snatching the fruit straight from Riley's hand and mouth to casually toss aside. He cups Riley's face by his cheeks, inspecting him for symptoms. They don't 'matter' in the dream insomuch as they won't kill Riley, but they matter in that he'll still experience pain.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Xander appears and bats Riley's delicious but evil fruit aside.
"H-hey!" He grasps after it hopelessly as it arcs toward the ground, contemplating if there is any additional harm in eating it anyway. It's already poison... Xander's presence fully registers a beat later, and his posture straightens with alarm.
As Riley is grasped, he grips Xander’s arms in turn. "Xander, don't look at it, it's going to corrupt the imagery of our sacred frog pond before you've even been there..." Riley laments. But Xander isn't looking at it, he's looking at Riley. Riley has... yes, poisoned himself in another weird way; the only symptom of which at the moment is an elevated temperature.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"I'm not looking at it, I'm looking at you," Xander is perfectly willing to point out. But by virtue of doing so, it means he already knows it's there. He's already seen it to not look at.
"Besides, you can't corrupt frogs."
He strokes his thumb across Riley's hairline, pushing bangs around and letting the back of his other hand rest there, feeling the heat. Is Riley already on his way to a fever? And all the water they have around is only blood... And yet, Riley managed to invent his own horrible fruit last time they were here which is now, very suddenly, very obnoxiously useful. Without his usual supplies, Xander tears off part of his sleeve with his teeth and crushes the ice berries into it to make a makeshift cooling cloth.
What? It's a dream. None of it matters besides how it makes them feel in the short term.
And it's a convenient distraction from allowing himself to fully process the implications. The last one. One last flower. So close. He was right, they had one more.
But Riley was also right. They had one more.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Xander is making medicine out of evil fruit somehow...
The coolness of the cloth is more welcome than Riley expected, and he closes his eyes for a moment to savor it with a sigh. "Xander, that's amazing..."
He opens them again and his gaze settles on the flower (he never forbade himself from looking at it.) His hand finds Xander's to grip tightly.
"I was hoping maybe it already bloomed and you could tell me you told me so and we could forget all about this stuff."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander's 'looking at Riley' falters with the praise. Mercifully, Riley closes both of his eyes so Xander can observe his symptoms with his one, at least until attention shifts to the flower. Xander tries to steel himself, but it's weakened when he finds his hand in Riley's grasp.
Uselessly, he continues to use the other hand to gently press against Riley's forehead, catching any stray moisture as he tends to him. Xander's hand stills in that, only briefly.
"Mm," he mumbles. Eloquently.
But that didn't happen. They're right back where they were, looking at a gamble in front of them. The end of something is coming, and it well may be the end of them.
"...You can still forget about it."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"I'd rather if we both could forget. At least until the thorns come back."
A headache is coming on, and his vision beginning to blur, though the cooling cloth still provides a comforting distraction. Riley uses his own free hand to help hold it on, feeling a little guilty that Xander is stuck tending to him because he wanted a taste of evil fruit.
"I promise... not to surprise you anymore. You don't have to keep waiting and worrying for what I'm going to do. I don't like you having to be afraid of me. I don't want our last days to be like that." He knows the 'last days' reference will sting Xander enough on its own. But such a promise is the only comfort he can think to offer besides completely denying reality.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"Then forget."
There's more plea in that than Xander wants to admit.
Xander keeps a close eye on Riley, having spent enough time living beside him now to know when internal changes are starting to happen. He sighs again, swatting Riley's hand away in an effort to get him to knock it off and relax. The more Riley speaks, the more Xander's own gaze wavers, straying aside, and losing immediate focus.
If he could ask for one concession, it would be that. No more surprises. No more having to keep his guard up. It's not the end -- but if it were, Xander would need that now more than ever.
But that's exactly the kind of thing someone would say if they wanted him to drop his guard, right? Riley's made promises before. Riley's panicked and broken them before. Xander can forgive it in the sense he understands and stops being angry. Yet it would be stupid to forget it happens.
"...Just remember you promised," he says, very quietly.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"You can peek inside my head if you don't believe me," Riley offers. And yet there have been times where he panics and forgets or otherwise goes back on sincere intentions. He's too many betrayals deep now for such a promise to be anything but audacious.
But still... again... what else have they got anymore? He hums, an invitation to Resonance that will allow Xander a look inside of his current mental state. Within, he'll find the promise painfully sincere, surrounded by sharp-edged regrets at each of the times he's broken Xander's trust. A deeper look will find this promise, however real it may be, papering over an intention to verbally challenge him once he judges their time is really gone. His consciousness also holds thread of sheepish embarrassment that he's in the process of losing his sight to fruit poisoning during such an important conversation.
He smiles guiltily as the increasing indistinct haze of Xander bleeds and swirls. It's only pretend and temporary!! They're in an imaginary garden, what does he need vision for anyhow?
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
That's the problem. Xander knows it isn't some kind of lie or trick. When Riley says he won't, he thinks he won't. His soul will say the same thing. Xander sighs and gently presses on Riley's head.
"We're already inside it."
But Xander wants to latch onto as much time as Riley will give him. Over and over it becomes the last time. Over and over it's one last chance. Over and over they stare death in the face. He wishes there was a way to stop it, but if the only way to do that is to stop everything, then Xander will take over and over every time.
Despite his protest, Xander doesn't resist the invitation. He may know what he's going to find, but there's a strange curiosity too. They are already inside themselves and each other, aren't they...? Maybe that's what makes it so easy.
He watches Riley as the feelings unravel, swallowing, eventually cracking and wrapping his arms around Riley to pull against him instead. It's easier not to look, even though everything's bared more open this way than any other way. Xander can't help his own uncertain fears sneaking through either, nor can he help -- and to him, it's worse -- they way they ebb with the Resonance's promise.
But he's no different. Deep and tangled, Riley plans to challenge him. Deep and tangled, Xander has no shape inside his soul that resembles acceptance of their fate. There's only fight.
There's little else to say on that because Riley keeps eating poisoned fruit and that is very distracting!
"Oh my god," Xander complains, pushing Riley down into the bed of lush flowers surrounding them and adjusting so Riley's head can rest on his lap. If he can't see he might as well sit still before he makes it worse. It'll be easier to keep the cooling cloth from getting berry juice all over Riley's face like this anyway.
"I can't leave you alone for five minutes, even in a dream..."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Xander's answering feelings suggest he still doesn't believe him, doesn't trust him, but that maybe the promise helps a little anyway. That's as much as Riley could have asked for, really. A little starburst of shame that he couldn’t offer a more reassuring promise is interrupted as Xander exasperatedly relocates him into his lap.
I can't leave you alone for five minutes, even in a dream...
Riley makes a noise that is somehow both apology and complaint. "Or you could look at it as, I'm responsibly eating poison fruit only in dreams where it's harmless..."
There is so much tempting unexplored fruit here to experience, and no (permanent) consequences...
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander makes his own noise, at once exasperated and fond. He traces over Riley's forehead and hair, smoothing back stray strands to keep them from sticking uncomfortably to Riley's face.
"I will not be looking at it that way."
The Resonance lingers. All its guilt and sharp edges between the two of them. A garden that's nearly complete -- a nightmare, even if it's beautiful. Not for the first time, Xander thinks he wouldn't hate it if it turned out the curse was being trapped here. Forever. The two of them. Maybe more could grow in this world of theirs overtime, so Riley wouldn't feel stifled and trapped by it.
It's wishful thinking. Xander has to keep trying. Keep searching. Somehow... But for now, there's a promise, and he greedily wants to allow himself to rest inside it.
It should be with a different flavor of shame that Xander, alone with him in a dream, with Riley unable to look at him, follows the impulse to saw what he does. But no, the shame is the usual bashful hesitation, the words whispered quietly, like they're dangerous.
"I love you. You know that's why, right?"
Why what?
Why everything, really.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley smiles with both sadness and mischief as he reaches up to feel Xander's face with his hands since he can no longer see it.
"Ahh, I need to remember that this was a special fruit that will get Xander to tell me he loves me..." Don't eat it AGAIN, Riley!
A beat. "I do know, though. I know there was a long time when I didn't understand, but... now everything you do feels like love."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Riley gets to experience the joy of Xander's face tensing under his fingertips.
"Th -- That's not why -- The fruit has nothing to do with it!"
Xander growls at him, but there's a pitch in the back of his throat that's too high to be pure aggression. Only Riley's words calm him again. A little.
He leans down, pressing a kiss to Riley that's soft and lingering, barely moving away when he's down and going quiet again.
"...It doesn't bother you?"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Th -- That's not why -- The fruit has nothing to do with it!
A knowing little grin. The fruit made Xander invisible, which made him bold. Riley has seen Xander shy from observation enough that he can follow the logic.
...It doesn't bother you?
"Xander..." Riley has located the basic plan of Xander's features, enough to confidently stroke his cheek.
"I used to dream you'd love me even a fraction of this much. I didn't dare imagine it could be like this. And nobody would blame you if you hated me after all the stuff I've done." A self-deprecating smile that turns determined. "But I'm greedy and I want all of it."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
It's lies, all lies, and Xander would deny it with much complaining and panicking that is not telling, shut up. But Riley already knows and does not give Xander room to fight the truth, only a grin that Xander must suffer.
But they've found a more vulnerable point to scratch out. Xander invited that one, too. Not because of effectively-invisible-now fruit!! Shut up!
It's Xander who is shut up, though, trepid and still as if the touch to his face could take a turn. It won't. He catches Riley's hand, stroking it a moment before releasing him to whatever tactile sight novelty he's enjoying.
Xander wants Riley's greed to be permission. Or maybe forgiveness -- it's too late to ask for that permission. He glances away, even with Riley unable to see. (But oh no, he can feel it.)
"You're impossible to hate. I thought I told you that already."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley's hand is captured, then released, and continues to trace along Xander's face. It is sort of fun to explore his features this way, especially with the reassurance that sight will be back as soon as he wakes up and there won't be a whole ordeal with having to kill anyone to regain it like Xander had to go through.
You're impossible to hate. I thought I told you that already.
Riley's smile becomes a little misty eyed.
"I think you're just highly susceptible to my nonsense."
A vulnerability that Riley treasures.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"You didn't have to make yourself blind to touch my face."
It is only temporary and doesn't seem to be painful or distressing for Riley, so Xander might simply have to put up with the fact this is genuinely entertaining and will happen again. Sigh!
Xander snorts in protest, playing his fingers idly against Riley's forehead in turn.
"Yes. It's just me. Only me and every Drifter we've ever met. Didn't I hear Dean ask to hang out with us during that fight?!"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Xander reminds Riley he can touch his face whenever he wants to. Riley contemplates whether that comment is a sign that Xander is enjoying it on some level and wants to be sure he understands he doesn't need an excuse.
"It just never occurred to me to be this thorough..." He will have to make sure to give it extra attention in the future. Xander's face is not to be taken for granted again.
"The Drifters like you, too," Riley assures, though Xander expressed no such insecurity. "They can see your sensitive heart."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"You shouldn't have to eat fruit for that either...!" Xander sighs like he's annoyed, but he's notably not going anywhere.
Riley's attempt to 'assure' Xander prompts another tangible tensing.
"No they don't and no they can't," Xander says, with no actual evidence that this is true besides the frequent attempts to stab them, which should make it true, god damn it. "...But if you want to see them now that the thorns are gone, I won't stop you."
It's not the end. But if it were... or, even if it weren't, Xander has to let Riley cherish some things, doesn't he? Even if it's people stupid enough to keep getting into the radius of the blood circle because Riley's too charming.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Good. Because we should do that. It will be fun." Riley doubts Xander will experience it as fun but figures Xander needs outside social contact on some level, like the vitamins in bitter vegetables. Do things like social nourishment really still matter with the end so close? Well, either way, it still seems worth having the experience to him. He'd like to interact with the Drifters again now that they're done being murderers...
"Speaking of people who like you..." Riley, Xander has not been willingly speaking about that at all.
"Why did you shoot Solitaire?" Riley's face and voice carry exasperation but also a soft, sympathetic sadness, and he gives Xander's face a squoosh.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"I didn't say we!" Xander hastily corrects, knowing full well it is too late and this was already going there. What else would it have been, Xander?! "Y... You at least owe me a pond first!"
Not this pond. Although Xander does like this pond, and this moment, against all better judgment and implication. If the curse is going to strangle their souls, doesn't he deserve to enjoy some pieces of it, at least...? Tangled souls and a quiet garden.
There's so much talk Valmar feeds off of the dark desires of the human heart. Maybe that's what this all is, and has always been...
'Quiet' might be a misnomer with Riley.
"We were not speaking of that!" They were. Solitaire's name comes up and Xander abruptly sputters.
"I should think why is obvious!"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Alas, to think Riley is missing out on whatever Xander's face is doing right now... but the fruit was very tasty... and his condition after eating it probably DID prompt Xander to say those sweet things to him...
The time comes to speak of Solitaire, however little Xander may want to. I should think why is obvious!
"To chase her away because you were ashamed she found out we were evil?” That’s more or less exactly what he guessed aloud during the battle. “But she forgave you..."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Their lives have become a tragic game of give and take.
Xander lets out a snarled groan. "No!" What assumptions are Riley making?! "Because she shouldn't have ever been associating with me in the first place! We tempted too much fate as it was. It'd be better if she stayed scared off for good."
That. Did not happen.
"People like Ruth and Eleanor are already looking out for her. She doesn't need serial killers to do it."
If Ruth is a war criminal she's a former war criminal and that's a significant leg up from a current serial killer.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Xander, you can't just arbitrarily replace yourself... if you try to push her away with weird mind games and ACTUAL VIOLENCE, it's going to turn into a painful abandonment issue she'll hang onto for the rest of her life."
Riley does know a little bit about abandonment issues. Especially ones that come from someone abandoning you for your own good.
"Besides, a young person finding her way in the world needs lots of different role models in her life. If she wants one of them to be a serial killer alchemist, that's up to her."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
If only Riley could see the look Xander's face right now, because Riley deserve that punishing, unamused Look! He's made himself more powerful this isn't fair.
"Riley, the entire problem is that we are vessels of actual god damn violence! I pushed her away with the reality of the situation! Better abandonment issues than being dead."
His snappish retorts are revealing a lot more about this situation than he readily realizes. He's not supposed to care if Solitaire is dead or not.
...But the moment it leaves he's mouth he's thinking of someone else's abandonment issues and the exact same sentiment that must have been felt in that moment by those who gave it to him, and the last words die on his tongue in a groaned sort of horrible tangle.
"Nnrg... mmlf. It's not up to her, it's up to me, and if she finally has good people looking out for her then why take the risk?!"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"I would have loved for a cool and mysterious serial killer alchemist to take me under their wing when I was young..." says Riley woefully. He really did want for mentorship, although surely he would have eventually come to regret such a situation...!?
It's not up to her, it's up to me, and if she finally has good people looking out for her then why take the risk?!
"No, it's up to me, because I forbid you to leave her life on horrible terms that leave her wondering if you hate her. I asked her to come find us again, and when she does, you need to apologize, and if you really think she has to leave for her own good you should say that to her nicely and make sure she hears all the caring behind it." Riley wields as stern an expression as he can manage without the ability to make direct eye contact. "If you don't, there will be consequences. I haven't thought of them yet, but they'll be mean. And we can't afford for me to be mean to you in our final days, can we?"
Maybe the consequence should just be Riley continuing to call them 'our final days' without self censorship.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"What are you imagining now?" Xander asks with a sigh, pressing against Riley's head as if he could gently push the absurd thought out. Unfortunately, Xander's thinking goes to what if his own father had been a murderer? That would not have improved any situation, anywhere.
But Riley goes and decides it's up... to him?! How! What! Xander is affronted and Riley can't even see the incredulous stare.
"Consequences!" Xander echoes with a growl. In their final days. All of him bristles, and it takes great restraint not to shove Riley into the pool of blood. All right, none at all, but the thought still existed for a second.
"These are not -- I am not going to apologize -- That is entirely against the point! And she's young, not stupid. This is not an apology fixing situation."
That was also the point.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Mmm, nothing," Riley says, as Xander queries after his latest weird imaginings. A bittersweet fantasy indeed, why would he cast himself as far too young for Xander, murderer or not? Now the imaginary Xander is patting him on the head and telling him he sees him as a younger brother. No...! He'll take the real Xander after all!!
But, Xander refuses to apologize to Solitaire.
"I said what I said, Xander!" Riley retorts with unusual firmness, unaware Xander is contemplating dunking him into the blood lake.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander grunts in doubt. Not nothing. But fine.
"Go on and be mean, then!"
Is this really a challenge you want to put forth, Xander...
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Go on and be mean.
Riley frowns, gathering his willpower, because this will hurt them both.
With exaggerated care and a challenging (if still somewhat misaligned to Xander's eye) expression, he removes his hands from Xander's face. And then he pushes off of his lap, rolling to one side.
And into the blood pool.
That part wasn't intentional.
"Aaaa--" Splash. He can still figure out which way is up, at least, and surfaces safely, sputtering blood. "Ugggggh. Are you feeling repentant yet, Xander?" The goal was not to use himself as some kind of a hostage but maybe it worked anyway.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander is shoved away from, and very briefly, he is unimpressed.
Then Riley's rolling body goes just a little too far into that blood and Xander bolts upright to grab hold and drag Riley from the pool, bloodying his own hands and hissing with the effort and wincing with more splatters from any of Riley's own sputtering and 'water' treading.
"No, but you should be!"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"What?! It didn't break your heart that I withdrew affection from you?!"
Riley is taken aback. Xander helps drag him back onto shore and he feels his way around carefully so he won't fall right back in. Once he feels secure in his positioning, he pulls away from Xander's grasp.
"See??? I took away my hand from yours!!" He can't see Xander's expression. Maybe it is full of secret heartbreak?? And he's trying to be very strong about it?!?!
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
In different circumstances, this would almost certainly work. Xander can't pretend he doesn't feel a disappointed pang. But knowing Riley's motivations takes a good deal of the potential bite out.
Xander sighs, wiping the blood from his face.
"Sit down so I can clean the blood off of you."
...That is an almost impossible plan after Riley fell into a pond of blood.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Nope!!" Riley does sit down, because his head is still doing weird poison fruit things, but only after putting out his hand and doing a circular sweep around himself to make sure Xander is not in the space.
"That is only for Xanders who are willing to apologize after they hurt their proteges!"
...As if cleaning blood off of him is some enjoyable activity Xander wants to do? Well, he did express a desire to do it or see it done, which means it is immediately becoming more leverage.
But it is gross to be completely soaked in blood, so he wipes at his face with his own sleeve. The ice berry cloth was, alas, lost in the chaos.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander rubs the bridge of his nose, then drags his fingers down the sides of his mouth.
"Riley."
He sighs, ripping a bit more of his shirt with an audible shred. Fangs can be useful, sometimes.
It's all a dream, so it isn't as if this actually matters, except Riley is most certainly stubborn enough to continue throwing this fit once they wake up. With the same approach he uses to hunt their victims, Xander carefully circles around the cavernous chamber to get behind Riley as quietly as possible, then strikes from there, grabbing hold of Riley's arm to twist and hold behind his back to limit his movements, and proceeds to attack Riley's face with that torn sleeve.
"If she comes back, I'll explain it to her."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Xander!!" A reproachful gasp as Xander attacks(!!) in order to clean him off. "I can't believe you!!"
'If she comes back, I'll explain it to her.
Oh. He won? Riley's tension eases, leaning into Xander's touch again instead of trying to escape it.
"Oh, okay. But remember to explain it nicely." He sighs. "I'm relieved you gave in, that was a difficult separation." It was like a minute and a half... it did involve a gross and briefly terrifying blood bath, though, so the cost felt a bit higher than perhaps it actually was.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"I can't believe you didn't expect this," Xander retorts, deadpan.
Riley gets easier to clean once he stops squirming, but Xander grips on him tightly like he expects him to a few moments longer before deciding Riley gets freedom privileges.
Another sigh of exasperation.
"You're the one making it difficult! ...And I'm not nice anymore. You know that."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Xander reminds him that he isn't nice anymore.
"Consequences!" Riley threatens again. "You ARE nice on the inside, and you can force yourself not to hide it for two minutes so you can apologize properly." He grumbles. "I can translate for you if you want..." He worries it will be necessary even if Xander doesn't want. "I would try ventriloquism but I don't think it would convince her."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander flinches with the threat this time, but only because it was so abruptly spoken and no other reason!
"That is not how it works, and your translations are wrong! You didn't even know why it all had to happen in the first place!"
He grumbles himself, forcing Riley still to properly wipe him down, but after a bloodbath this is next to impossible to manage. Best he can do is keep it out of his face while trying to comb back Riley's hair with his fingers.
"Do not do ventriloquism. I will bite you."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley considers. Maybe he did have it wrong, although he still thinks his version is part of the answer.
"You're afraid of hurting her so you wanted to control how you hurt her," he tries again. He reaches out to make some consoling gesture but then pulls back his hand in regret after making contact. "Oh no, I got blood in your hair."
Do not do ventriloquism. I will bite you.
"If you aren't nice, the consequence will be ventriloquism," Riley decides.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander growls again, then catches Riley's hand as he tries to pull away. "It's fine. The blood. Not the translation. That's still horrible."
It's accurate in its own way, but Xander thinks Riley's still weighing emotional hurts and not the very real fact Xander could stab her in a moment of bloodlust and that is the actual problem and the thing that isn't recoverable.
But Riley is not keen to give up on this.
"And then you'll get bitten." Xander sighs. "If, if she does come looking for us," that if again, as if she hadn't already agreed, but let him have plausible deniability, "Then I'm not going to spin up a bunch of platitudes and stories for her just so she isn't sad about everything. It's not a nice situation. There aren't nice answers."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
“Xander, you can't want blood in your hair...!!!” Riley compromises by feeling his way to Xander's shoulder and focusing his consoling touches there instead.
It's not a nice situation. There aren't nice answers.
"I'm going to have to translate for you," Riley concludes sorrowfully.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"I don't want it in my hair, I just don't care." This is an important distinction. But fine, Riley can console whatever part of him he thinks he should, and all Xander will do is grumble.
He takes to groaning when Riley comes to the worst conclusion he could have.
"Ugh, say whatever you want." Riley's going to do that anyway. "This whole thing was a mistake from the start."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Xander grumbles. Riley kisses a slightly random part of his face, and while it does leave a bit of blood behind, at least the blood isn't from Riley's lungs anymore.
This whole thing was a mistake from the start.
This sobers Riley, and Xander is pulled into a sticky embrace.
"...I'm sorry if I pushed you into it. I was focused on the good parts." Xander forming connections with people again. Xander having a legacy to leave behind. Getting to watch Xander make a cute little classroom out of forest debris.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Everything they do is blood covered, and what does Xander care if a kiss is? So long as it isn't Riley's is all that matters, and Xander settles despite all his grumping. A sticky hug is only more effective, and Xander lets himself relax into it.
"It wasn't your fault." Xander was the one who entertained it and had his stupid wishes along the way, much as he tried to bury them. "There was only one way it could end if she stuck around long enough. I guess I... thought she wouldn't."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"It hasn't ended yet," Riley insists. "I won't let it end that way."
As far as he's concerned, this is their last round, and so they won't be meeting Solitaire while under the influence of the curse again, when Xander might be prone to losing control. But Xander wouldn't find that take on reality reassuring...
"I know you feel like you need to chase her off..." And maybe dying on her will be just as bad as attacking her, in terms of abandonment... "Just... do it with the truth, not a... gun. The real truth, not just snarling about being a monster or whatever. You can just tell her you're worried about losing control."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Not ended yet. Xander wishes Riley held that opinion about a few other things in their lives. But the fact he feels it about something catches Xander off his guard. It still feels so misguided, but then, so must Xander's own determination.
It quiets him into listening.
"...I am a monster," he says, soft. "It doesn't bother me, but it is the real truth."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
...I am a monster.
Riley murmurs unhappily. He wants to pet Xander but his hands are too sticky... curse his actions and their consequences! He snugs him a little closer instead.
"It isn't the whole truth or the part of the truth she needs to hear to understand what's going on. You can still put it in the explanation if you really want to. 'I'm a monster and I'm scared I will accidentally hurt you with the evil powers that sometimes take control of me,' he offers."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander sighs heavily against Riley, further pacified by this snuggling, no matter how blood covered it might be.
"That sounds awful. And it's still not correct." Isn't it, though? Despite the argument, they both have the same goal, as usual. This time, it's make sure Solitaire gets out of this as unscathed as possible by understanding what's really going on.
And that determined push of Riley's is still a lingering echo.
"Look, I'll... try, okay? But I'm not going to doll it up in rainbows and glitter."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"What about it isn't correct?" Riley grumps. His Xander translation abilities are impeccable, as far as he is concerned. She probably did basically get the idea already, but he still thinks it needs to be repeated directly from Xander, and without bullets.
"Good," he relents, when Xander agrees to try. "If you speak earnestly from the heart, I'm sure it will be enough, even without rainbows." And... Riley will try to be on standby in case damage control is needed after Xander’s idea of honesty is revealed.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"It's not only about the violence. I'm not the kind of person she should be learning anything from. She didn't have options before, but now she does. People she can actually trust."
When it comes down to it, there's only one thing Xander fights for. He knows that. It's misleading for her to think he has a stake in anything else. For anyone to.
Xander sighs again. "Yeah, sure, sure," he says, skeptical. Both of his own ability to make words work out, and the idea Riley won't be right there to put his own spin on it...
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"What's the matter with learning from you? You know all sorts of alchemy you haven't taught her yet, and... ... as far as life lessons, well, she can decide on her own if she wants to become the kind of person who would kill for the sake of love. It's not like it was ever your first resort, so you're not that bad an example." He settles his chin on Xander's head with a catlike smile. "I think you're an admirable role model..."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"Admirable?!" Xander bristles in Riley's grasp, and though he cannot see the smile, he feels it in his soul. That's not something he needs the tangle of their curse for. He knows it in the pit of his being.
(Or something in the subtle tug of Riley's muscles. Pick one.)
"I shot her! And at everyone else! I'm not nice and I'm not a good teacher and I'm not admirable!"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Okay, shooting your protege is not my favorite decision of yours..." Riley cannot see at the moment, but his expression into the void flattens a bit with a sigh. "But we already talked about why you thought you needed to. Overall, don't you believe in the things you've chosen to do? You're always so passionate and defiant about your choices. I think that's admirable..."
Riley is of course biased as the beneficiary of most of Xander's decisions... but that doesn't mean he doesn't believe it truly.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"Of course I do! That's why I do them! Including all of this." Xander sighs, exasperated more than frustrated. It's embarrassingly difficult to stay angry as Riley somehow turns it into praise -- even after they established unfavorite decisions -- and Riley can perhaps feel Xander tensing up himself, in the way he does when his face goes red.
"You don't think she's better off being influence by Eleanor? Or Ruth?" He moves to give Riley a flat look before remembering Riley can't see him right now. "A gargoyle, Riley. Come on."
This is clearly a plus in Xander's book judging by his tone.
"...Those are better role models for someone who's seen what Solitaire's probably seen."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley can feel Xander shifting like he's trying to look him in the face, and smiles questioningly in his general direction since he can't see what look is being aimed his way. He can imagine it pretty accurately, though, he thinks.
"She can be influenced by them, too," Riley says. "A little bit of Xander influence mixed in won't ruin anything. And maybe one day... some Xander influence will come in handy. Maybe it will motivate her to push harder when everything seems lost. Or to do everything she can for someone she cares about. Admirable Xander traits..."
He walks his fingers playfully along Xander's back. "You never know. The potions and stuff will certainly help her, though."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander shudders comfortably, easing more readily than he'd like to outwardly admit. But Riley can probably tell, because life's unfair. To him, specifically, but Solitaire's getting a raw deal, too.
He's becoming relaxed enough that all he can muster in protest is a disgruntled groan that isn't nearly disgruntled as it should be.
With performed aggression to make it some act of revenge, Xander nuzzles his face into Riley's chest.
"Hardly," he muffles. "...But I already said I'd explain it. Just don't get your hopes up."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"My hopes are in exactly the right place," Riley promises, perhaps unconvincingly. "But thank you for agreeing to explain it to her."
He would like to make this right, in the time they have left. Even if Xander disappearing on her soon after will probably hurt about as badly as having him shoot her...
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander snorts. There's so many examples where Riley's hopes weren't in the right place. Xander himself is the testament to that right now. It's a thought that darkens his mood, and he wraps his arms around Riley in a greedy squeeze.
"That's only if she comes back, remember." As if Riley hadn't made the offer and Solitaire hadn't already practically agreed. But Xander was doing a lot of screaming at the end of that battle.
"Ugh... At least you didn't mention the wedding."
If he could yell at himself, he would.
Xander groans and buries his face in Riley.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"The wedding..." Riley's voice takes on a dreamy air. "We are going, aren't we?"
Yes, Xander bringing it up himself was probably a mistake.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
The way Riley says it makes every nerve and muscle of Xander's seize up with tension. His mouth falls open, and Riley (un)fortunately cannot see the way shock, horror, and then growling frustration, and then grudging acceptance all go through an adventure together.
This is a terrible idea!! A terrible idea Riley is very fond of. Like eating poisoned fruit.
Xander sighs, lifting up to pull Riley against him.
"...If we can find something to wear, sure."
What kind of fairy tale condition is this?
"But you did give them easier permission kill us and I don't want to have to light this one on fire."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Nobody's going to INTERRUPT a WEDDING to kill us," Riley says, dismissing the idea breezily. "Besides, Eleanor practically invited us..." she very explicitly did NOT invite you, Riley, she lamented the fact that she could NOT invite you, because you are killers...
"Mmm, what should we wear..." Riley has free reign to picture whatever he wants since he can't actually see at the moment, and appears to be doing just that with his eyes closed. "What color do you want this time, Xander...? Purple? Blue? Green?" The blood all over him has dried to the point that he dares to touch Xander's hair, indicating he intends to color that as well again. Or rather, to make Xander do it.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander heaves another sigh. Eleanor did not invite them. There's no way she did. But Xander doesn't remember enough of the details of the battle to be sure. Eleanor was supposed to be the smart one! Why is she forgiving them about any of this...!
Now that they're drier, Xander reattempts to clean Riley from the worst of the smears. He gives up relatively quickly, Riley already feeling his hair and none of this mattering in a dream. There's a shot look Riley can't even appreciate, so he only gets to perceive Xander easily submitting to his machinations. Which is not how this is supposed to be conveyed!
"Our hair? Again?!" Xander grunts. "...I guess I could live with blue or purple. The red from last time felt like a spotlight."
Joke's on him if Riley's imagining a lavender sort of purple or neon sort of blue.
"Couldn't we just go with... brown?"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Mmm, you can be purple and I'll be blue then," Riley decides. "And we'll each wear the other's color. And... peach as an accent color for us both? Kind of like dusk..."
Couldn't we just go with... brown?
Riley gives a sound of such adamant disagreement that it seems almost like a growl.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander bristles when Riley growls at him. "What's wrong with brown?!"
He groans and buries his face back in Riley as if to hide from his judgment there. "What do you mean each other's color? You want me to wear orange? What are you going to wear?"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Purple and orange together would be asking a lot..." Riley says, patting Xander comfortingly. That would be a vibrant sunset indeed... even someone who loved colors might be daunted.
"No, like you'll have purple hair and eyes and blue clothing, and I'll be the other way around." It's actually not that different from their dancer and musician costume palette, which means it's once again going to be questionable for disguise purposes, but...
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander's voice becomes a mutter, because he knows there's no real answer to his question: "Why can't I do everything in brown..."
His posture slumps. "...Fine. Blue and purple. With peach." He doesn't hate the colors, but that might be because of the familiarity with their performance looks. Well, those are 'kind of' disguises in their own right. Maybe they will be recognized as performers and not as serial killers.
...
"You want me to change your eyes?!"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"I figured alchemy could do eyes too..." Riley admits. It can do practically everything else! "If not, that's all right."
He nudges him with a little grin. "Or are you just upset because you like my eyes as they are??"
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
With several false starts, Xander trips over half uttered words before growling and pressing a palm to Riley's chest in a performed gesture like he means to push him away. But as it is so often, he does not actually. His fingers curl in, gripping instead.
He remembers, vaguely, how excited Riley had been when he was paid a compliment the first time they experimented with the dyes. Mortifyingly excited. Ugh... Xander can barely say anything with that smile bearing down on him all the time, but now with them well and truly alone, and with Riley still sight-poisoned...
Xander risks looking back to Riley and running his thumb over Riley's brow, then down and around the curve of the eye socket.
"...Of course I do."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley is once again given more power than Riley ought to have, and laughs happily to himself. Xander is safe from eye contact, but not from the sparkle.
"Okay, then I'll keep them just for you."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander flinches at the offer, suddenly with the sense he's done something wrong, or is creeping on the edge of something dangerous. The sparkle definitely feels dangerous.
"I -- I can change them," he says, but his touch is lingering there in a way that suggests his gaze also must be. "If you want. I just --"
Just... what? Why can't he ever string words together in a way that doesn't sound completely stupid in his head?
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"No, it's all right, I won't make you be parted from my eyes," Riley says. "I've stolen too many eyes from you as it is..."
He leans forward to kiss Xander and manages to find his face, though what specific part of it gets kissed remains to be seen.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
"Th -- That's not -- you don't have to --"
With Xander torn between looking away on reflex and trying to maintain eye contact, Xander gets a rather ironic kiss very near his own eye. It feels like Riley planned it and with no evidence to the contrary, Xander is forced into a reality where this was a premeditated attack on his heart.
This leaves him stunned an extra moment before he can find his voice again.
"...It'll... still match with the accents... mostly..." It's somewhere near enough the vicinity, Xander figures. Or they could have the accents lean more toward amber.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Tragically, Riley does not get to witness Xander's stunned expression after the kiss...
"Hmm, do you think it would?" Riley tries to picture the combination. "Maybe to be on the safe side I should be magenta..."
Does that mean he would make Xander wear magenta...??
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander has his own assumptions, pressing his hand over Riley's mouth in a brief bid to shut him up.
"You might as well ask me to make us glow in the dark! If you make me wear magenta I swear I will turn everything brown."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"But Xanderrrr," Riley complains. "Everyone will be looking at us either way because you are too beautiful to ignore... so what's so bad about being magenta??"
Sometimes Riley has a very different idea of what it is like to be Xander than Xander does. At any rate, Riley manages to make himself wistful with this notion, and he sighs, finding the edge of Xander's face with his hand and cupping it sadly.
"Ahh, I miss looking at you, I shouldn't have eaten that fruit..." At least it's temporary....
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
It's possible Riley may be able to feel the aura of Xander's affronted bristling.
"No they won't because that's not a real thing, and they'll be looking at the brides! Unless we are fucking magenta!" This is also probably a very different idea than reality.
He goes still as Riley takes his face, feeling suddenly Seen, stumbling over his words. "...A...And whose fault is that?!"
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"There's time to look at you and the brides..." but Riley is a bit chastened. "All right, we'll keep you blue and purple, just to be on the safe side."
A beat.
"And save the magenta for one of your dance costumes..."
Will there really be time for more dance costumes?
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander exhales in something like relief, although all of this is some form of torture, isn't it...? (Not really.)
Then Riley adds that on and Xander goes tense again. "No!"
There are many refusals Xander has given over the years, and Riley can probably already tell by tone which ones are his hard lines and which ones will only take a little pressing before Xander finds himself dancing in magenta.
But they would need time...
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley's smile falters at the reminder he's given himself of their time limit.
He nuzzles into Xander, murmuring back at the protestations in a way that says 'yes, yes, I know.'
"Maybe just one magenta sash..."
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander would like to think it means Riley believes there's time. Even if there's not, isn't it better if Riley has that hope...? If he doesn't panic, if maybe Xander can find something...?
He calms as Riley actually manages to soothe him with that, though still looks aside.
"I could do one magenta sash..."
There lies the slippery slope.