2023-11-18: One Last Dance
- Log: The Last Dance
- Cast: Riley Arwell, Xander Lovell
- Where: The Cape of Breath
- Date: November 18, 2023
- Summary: Caught between one brutal end of their curse and another, Riley once again tries to take matters into his own hands by challenging Xander to a duel to the death.
===========================<* The Cape of Breath *>=========================== Stretching from the edge of the slowly-spreading northern desert, the Cape of Breath is the lush southern region of Meria Boule. Farmland and livestock take up much of the hilly region, dotted with the estates and castles of Merian nobles, often at the height of elevation, but across temperate land to the west great forests begin, still part of the great resources of the Merian nation. In places the badlands of the north find mirrors here, hotter regions with accordingly sparser populations... where people could move. To the farthest south and east are the wide coastlines, each marked with large cities. Only the fortress nature of many estates at the hearts of settlements recalls much of Meria's more warlike history, after the great efforts of the late Queen to ensure peace for all Meria Boule, and the spread of knowledge. Nevertheless, the increasing spread of monsters can make travel without caravan or guards a perilous undertaking indeed.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
In the days that followed the return of the thorns, Riley seemed to resolve his feelings into a kind of melancholy contentment as he worked his way through an odd assortment of the loose ends that were within reach of their suddenly limited time and capacity for resolution. He finished the stack of letters -- rereading the ones he already went through, and savoring those he hadn't yet experienced. He finished off all his remaining birthday candies, with wicked glee at the compounding effects. He drank up the delicious fruit elixirs Xander made for him, and read through his offered recipes. He bought Xander a mirror.
He spent a lot of time in physical contact with Xander, holding hands, leaning against him, singing to him and himself. They went on traveling, though neither of them would admit or commit to a specific destination. He seemed to be searching the scenery for the right place, the right moment.
He was not quite the usual playful and joyful Riley, but nor was he a shadow of himself. On the outside, he seemed to be finding closure, to be cherishing each moment. Inside, he was a superposition of sure and unsure.
Meanwhile, their thorns grew. Riley's remained a threatening tangle beneath the skin of his neck; only a few thorns and flowers broke the surface, but more could be felt and seen below, and certain movements would bring sharp pain that provided a sobering reminder of the ticking clock.
One day they find themselves at a bluff overlooking the sea, where the ground is lush and the wind feels vibrant and alive, And Riley decides this is a good enough place to die. He pauses in their walk, releasing Xander's hand and giving him a sad smile as he takes a step back and pulls free his knife, not to strike but to show it to him so his intent is clear. He promised no surprises.
"Xander -- are you ready for our last dance?"
He wants to sound confident, maybe even romantic about it. But something in his expression cracks as he asks the question.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander's eye dulled of its spark the moment the thorns returned and he found himself without options. Without answers. But he never fell away completely, returning the affection given, and staying present with Riley. None of his own wishes for the future ever surfaced or revealed themselves. He had no last minute desires, nor final requests. He was, somehow, quieter, and looked a long time in that mirror with an expression unreadable only for how foreign it was.
Riley would say when it was time, and Xander only realized the weight of it more with each passing day: he was out of any to borrow.
His own thorns kept crawling up his arm, largely superficial instead of burrowed deep. It seemed only appropriate that they moved toward his chest, only then beginning to bite in and burrow for his heart.
Along their walk, Xander squeezes Riley's hand, but then finds himself released with the cold coastal air rushing to feel the empty space. Xander looks at his palm. Slowly, he looks back up, seeing Riley against the horizon of ocean waters, knife in hand.
"Never," he says, simple and sad.
But Xander breathes in deep of ocean air with his eye closed. It opens, and his posture shifts -- not his usual hunched poise for combat, but straightened and strong with a dancer's grace, his dagger with amber in its hilt held gently in hand.
His body says what his tongue won't: he's as ready as he'll ever be.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley nods in grim acknowledgement of both of Xander's answers. Under the circumstances, he'll settle for Xander's posture of readiness to prove this qualifies as keeping his promise.
Riley's first strike is against himself, raking the blade against his forearm and flinging out a spray of blood in a wide arc around them. The earth writhes, springing up with strange flora twisted into highly particular shapes, some with many vines pulled taut between two branches, and others with broad leaves stretched taut against a hollow trunk. The reason becomes clear when the vines begin to vibrate, the 'drums' begin to sound. He has summoned a cursed orchestra from the Blood Garden, and it begins to play a melody of heartache with a driving beat. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pq0XnxdSzjg&list=OLAK5uy_keOpapx2tOgnG2o0kF3WnXtmFqtlGLipw)
As Riley begins to step in time to the music, circling Xander, a channel of resonance opens between them, showing a heart full of grief, trepidation, and sharpened, brittle resolve. But also hope. That they can end this well. That they can find something beyond this world.
Riley empties a vial of liquid into his mouth -- Xander can probably guess what -- and then rushes for Xander, at the same time a curl of vine rises up quietly from the ground to try to hook Xander's ankle and lock him in place.
Riley's aims are twofold -- to tackle him in the ground in a kiss to transfer some of the Purification Potion to him, and to sink the blade into his back as they land.
GS: Riley Arwell has attacked Xander Lovell with Carve You Up! GS: Riley Arwell has gained 1 Combo! GS: Riley Arwell has completed his action. GS: COUNTER! Xander Lovell counterattacks Riley Arwell with Do Not Go Gentle! GS: CRITICAL! Xander Lovell solidly guards Riley Arwell's Carve You Up for 134 hit points! GS: Riley Arwell solidly guards Xander Lovell's Do Not Go Gentle for 66 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander's otherwise grim demeanor shifts with brief panic as he watches Riley turn the blade on himself. But then as the cursed vegetation rises, and the percussion begins, Xander understands. He sharpens his gaze, and -- subtly at first -- his foot begins to move with the forming rhythm. It resonates in his heart, reminding him he's still alive.
For now.
To accept the resonance means to give it in turn. Xander once said that the only thing left of him anymore was how he felt for Riley. Right now, that's never looked more true: carved open, hollowed out, and left without resolve or hope...
This is a dance of Xander's desperate desire to steal every last moment he can. No matter how bloody, how violent, how brutal or condemned, it's together. Greedily, he will take Riley in whatever form he gets to have.
He charges Riley to meet him halfway, tangled in vines, tackled and held. He's kissed, eye burning with tears as the purification potion is exchanged between them. But he does not accept the knife, twisting his own to parry with Riley's, blade scraping blade, before striking out with his own to punch into Riley with the pommel.
And if he can use that moment to rolls and flip Riley off of him to get them both on their feet, he will.
GS: Xander Lovell has attacked Riley Arwell with Won't Die Lying Down! GS: Xander Lovell has gained 2 Combo! GS: Xander Lovell's stances have changed to Stoic! GS: Xander Lovell gains 27 THP from his Cautious! GS: Xander Lovell has completed his action. GS: CRITICAL! Riley Arwell solidly guards Xander Lovell's Won't Die Lying Down for 90 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
There's an emptiness in Xander that hurts to feel. But Riley wanted to die with hearts entangled. His own shows a horrible collage of possibilities for how this might go, each one wrapped in a shudder of horror at the idea it might become real. It's possible, perhaps, to find the one describing his next move. The one that stirs with not just revulsion, but intent.
But things are moving fast. The blades clash. Riley's distraction as he raises an arm to route the pommel away from colliding with his jaw buys Xander the opportunity to throw him off -- but not far.
His back foot braces against the ground and pushes him forward, and he quickly closes the distance again, his blade curving upward toward the underside of Xander's chin this time as they draw close.
A flash of memory -- Riley coating the knife in poison sometime earlier, from one of the cursed fruits he's been so carefully cultivating. If it finds its way into his blood, it will bring a prickling heat that saps at his strength and weighs down his limbs.
Riley feels the image slipping through, and gives a pained smile of apology. "It would have been much tastier if you wanted to do it my way. But at least I won't leave you cold..."
GS: Riley Arwell spends 1 Combo on Poison! GS: Riley Arwell has attacked Xander Lovell with Poisoned Knife Bite! GS: Riley Arwell has gained 1 Combo! GS: Riley Arwell has completed his action. GS: Xander Lovell takes a glancing hit from Riley Arwell's Poisoned Knife Bite for 72 hit points! GS: Reaction switch bonus! Xander Lovell gains 1 additional Combo! GS: Poison applied to Xander Lovell! GS: FP up! Sufferer activated!
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander looks to Riley with hurt reflected in his own resonance, but this time, it's absent of any sense of betrayal. There's a sympathy there, if not an empathy. An understanding Xander didn't have until this all came to a head... and only he hates himself a little for cherishing to see. Riley doesn't want to do this.
But he is.
Only a moment of time is bought to reorient before Riley is back in his space. Xander allows it happen, but twists gracefully against Riley's body with his own, catching his waist in one arm while Riley's knife slashes up against Xander's chin and over his cheek. It leaves a thin red line, the poison seeping in.
There's no smile on Xander's lips, but there's a familiar recognition in his eye that's very nearly playful, threatening toward the sentiment Xander feels when Riley's done something so predictably Riley-like.
Then Xander stabs himself.
With a syringe. It replaced the knife somewhere in their tangle.
"Did you think I was ever going to let this be that easy?"
Xander lets his syringe drop and seizes hold of Riley, forcefully leading his movements. A yank to spin him, a shove back to twist away only to clide back again, a trip under his feet to force him to dip in an altogether rough and disorienting dance. Every percussive beat of the tempo the cursed music provides becomes a guide for Xander to strike in these small, exhausting ways.
GS: Xander Lovell used Force Action: Mystic on himself! GS: Poison removed! GS: Xander Lovell has attacked Riley Arwell with Nameless Dance! GS: Xander Lovell has gained 1 Combo! GS: Xander Lovell gains 24 THP from his Cautious! GS: Xander Lovell has completed his action. GS: CRITICAL! Riley Arwell suffers a terrible blow from Xander Lovell's Nameless Dance for 105 hit points! GS: Reaction switch bonus! Riley Arwell gains 1 additional Combo! GS: Misery inflicts a random effect! Blind, Leak, Slow, Starve, and Weaken applied to Riley Arwell! GS: FP up! Sufferer activated! GS: Riley Arwell enters CONDITION GREEN!!
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
A glimmer of something like appreciation enters Xander's eye, and he begins to dance with Riley in earnest, though the movements are rough and dizzying. Riley doesn't have the heart to resist it, letting himself be carried away in the moment for a time as he's pushed and pulled and spun despite the tiring frenzy of the movements, even going so far as to hum along to the melody that surrounds them.
In a moment of contact, he tries to press another kiss to Xander's lips, and thorns burst from his hand where it clasps Xander's, tangling the two of them together as it twists and tightens and spirals up his arm, driving in thorns that carry further poisons of unknown provenance. Lush and vivid blossoms open, releasing clouds of toxic pollen.
"I'm sure I've got a few you can't cure..." His voice sounds like he wants it to be a kind of teasing banter. But the window into his heart reveals fear; he can't know what these poisons could do to Xander, how painful they might be. His hand grasps tighter, eyes flickering.
GS: Riley Arwell has attacked Xander Lovell with See What Blooms! GS: Riley Arwell has gained 1 Combo! GS: Riley Arwell has completed his action. GS: ROU|LET|TE: Moderate! Xander Lovell solidly guards Riley Arwell's See What Blooms for 65 hit points! GS: Reaction switch bonus! Xander Lovell gains 1 additional Combo! GS: Misery inflicts a random effect! Cripple and Mute applied to Xander Lovell! GS: FP up! Reaction bonus and Sufferer activated!
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
For as rough as each step of the dance is, there's an undercurrent of that strange joy of Xander's... the one that exists, even in the pain and misery. That desire to be alive, flickering impossibly despite all that would engulf it.
Every other time Riley's come for Xander's life, Xander's shoved and pushed away. He's growled and snarled and refused. This time, he laces his fingers with Riley's as he feels the thorns pierce into his flesh and weave them together. He does not shy from the kiss, whatever further poison might come with it, still tasting the purification potion shared between them.
It was never meant for this. It wasn't supposed to make it easy to die.
After he pulls back, he's got to breathe, toxic pollen and all. Xander waves, tightening his grip on Riley for balance, and an utterance coming out in a harsh rasp before his voice is choked away.
In place of words, he meets Riley's eyes with his own. This close and tangled together, speaking isn't needed. He can feel that fear, and it echoes against his own selfish tenacity. This pain is fine. This pain, Xander can endure.
His fear is what happens when the pain is finally over.
Tangled together with cursed thorns, Xander leads Riley into more of the dance. This time, their hands cannot separate, and each split and separation is fitfully brief before Xander wraps them back together, letting the tempo ebb and flow. He fights to keep to the tempo, no matter how faltering and strained each step becomes under the poison's grasp.
There's no winning a fight that he won't fight back in. All he can do is try to keep Riley tired and delay the inevitable.
GS: Xander Lovell spends 1 Combo on Interrupt! GS: Xander Lovell has attacked Riley Arwell with Keep Up! GS: Xander Lovell gains 30 THP from his Cautious! GS: Xander Lovell has completed his action. GS: Riley Arwell suffers a terrible blow from Xander Lovell's Keep Up for 91 hit points! GS: Interrupt applied to Riley Arwell! GS: FP up! Sufferer activated! GS: Riley Arwell enters CONDITION GREEN!! GS: Riley Arwell has lost 2 Combo from Interrupt! GS: Riley Arwell has activated Force Action: Full Clip! <Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
As the dance of death becomes even more of a dance, the music around them changes, the melody more passionate and the beats more syncopated (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UW3Ms7ujLs). Riley, too, is savoring drawing out these final moments, letting Xander dance him to exhaustion. Every now and then, when they draw closest, Riley will make some gambit to slice into his neck or back or chest with knife or thorn to soak more poison into his system, sapping at his strength in turn. Eventually, he turns the knife on himself again, scraping into his arm. The droplets of blood call forth transparent images of entreating phantoms that grasp at Xander, stealing life when they touch. A reminder of the unknown realm where they have sent so many victims, and are soon to follow.
Guilt and yearning flow from the connection with Riley. Will they be reunited with their families when they go there? If they could meet them again, would they be forgiven, or finally called to account for what they've done?
GS: Riley Arwell has attacked Xander Lovell with Herald of the Grave! GS: Riley Arwell has gained 2 Combo! GS: Interrupt expired! GS: Blind, Leak, Slow, Starve, and Weaken expired! GS: Riley Arwell has completed his action. GS: Interrupt! Attack weakened! GS: Xander Lovell suffers a terrible blow from Riley Arwell's Herald of the Grave for 191 hit points! GS: Delay applied to Xander Lovell! GS: FP up! Sufferer activated! <Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander seamlessly dissolves into every shift the music makes. Quicker, harsher, faster, rougher. Movements come in sharp jerks and short stops, yet refuse to be clumsy. Deliberate. With purpose. For every step Xander takes trying to exhaust Riley, matching the pace of the song exhausts Xander in turn.
Especially as his body becomes littered with slices and punctures, blood oozing freely as his heart pumps to keep time with the dance. To move away from the strikes would be to move into Riley, and occasionally, Xander leans in. Through resonance, the spikes of pain that he endures and repulse Riley are Xander's only weapon.
Riley cuts himself and Xander moves to grab the wound and squeezes hard enough to hurt, stopping Riley's bleeding before his own. It does not prevent the phantoms, and was never meant to.
A life stained in the blood of so many victims. They can have their cut, too.
But if remorse quivers anywhere in Xander's soul, it is drowned out by his desire, and the idea of forgiveness is rejected outright.
Unnecessary.
GS: Formation! Xander Lovell has attacked Riley Arwell with Blade Dance! GS: Xander Lovell enters a Counter stance! GS: Xander Lovell has gained 2 Combo! GS: Delay expired! GS: Xander Lovell gains 22 THP from his Cautious! GS: Xander Lovell has completed his action. GS: Delay! Attack greatly weakened! GS: Riley Arwell solidly guards Xander Lovell's Blade Dance for 63 hit points! GS: Reaction switch bonus! Riley Arwell gains 1 additional Combo! GS: FP up! Reaction bonus activated! GS: Riley Arwell enters CONDITION GREEN!! GS: Riley Arwell has activated Force Action: Full Clip!
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Feeling Xander's pain as he hurts him is a fitting punishment, and Riley finds himself foolishly wishing to soothe in between the hurts. But one hand is tangled painfully with Xander's, and the other is grasping his knife. The best he can manage is to softly nuzzle into his neck in one moment of stillness, before the violent dance jolts them both back into motion.
He feels Xander's rejection of the idea that they might be forgiven. "I'll ask for it for both of us," he murmurs quietly, fiercely. "I want you to have a happy eternity. Something to make up for all of this."
He twists his arm free of Xander's protective grasp, letting the blood flow once again. Summoning a ring of sturdy branches edged in jagged thorns, he starts to build their coffin around them. It starts as more of a cage, its bars widely spaced around them so that they can continue their dance, and still see the sea and sky. But slowly, with resignation, he tightens the circle around them, until any movements they make drive the spikes scraping into their backs.
GS: Riley Arwell spends 2 Combo on Headshot! GS: MYSTIC ARTE! Riley Arwell has attacked Xander Lovell with To Hell with You! GS: Riley Arwell has gained 1 Combo! GS: Riley Arwell has completed his action. GS: COUNTER! Xander Lovell counterattacks Riley Arwell with Do Not Go Gentle! GS: CRITICAL! Xander Lovell partially guards Riley Arwell's To Hell with You for 304 hit points! GS: Reaction switch bonus! Xander Lovell gains 1 additional Combo! GS: Poison applied to Xander Lovell! GS: FP up! Sufferer activated! GS: Healthy! For entering Condition Green, Xander Lovell receives 100 temporary hit points. GS: Xander Lovell enters CONDITION GREEN!! GS: Cripple and Mute expired! GS: Strain! Riley Arwell takes 40 damage! GS: Delay! Attack greatly weakened! GS: CRITICAL! Riley Arwell solidly guards Xander Lovell's Do Not Go Gentle for 130 hit points! GS: FP up! Arcane Font and SOS Overdrive activated! GS: Riley Arwell enters CONDITION GREEN!!
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander's breathing is more and more labored. Every stop before the next stop is a moment to rest. Riley comes in closer, and Xander holds him there, pushing past the ache in his body and in his throat. He turns into Riley's nuzzle, brushing his lips against Riley's head before their descent into death continues anew.
"There's nothing to make up for," Xander says, his soul bared too much with sincerity for him to lie. No remorse, and no blame. "I had you." He looks to Riley, pained not from the thorns or the knife, but from the only thing that matters slipping away.
Will there really be an after? Isn't that just a pretty story to tell, to make it easier?
Riley rips away, and Xander's too slow in the pursuit. The coffin is built, and panic swells. No. No no no no no he's not done he's not done he's not done. A storm of emotions erupts: fear, determination, guilt, longing, pain, desire, helplessness, sympathy, misery.
But each one of those could also be called 'love'.
Instinct takes over, gathering up the last of Xander's waning strength to seize Riley in a dancer's embrace and throw himself against the closing coffin in a twirl. He'll let it rip and ravage his body apart if he must, any sense of winning the battle forgotten.
It's simply a hope that if he destroys this, Riley stops. That the world will stop. One more moment. Please...
GS: Xander Lovell spends 1 Combo on Link! GS: Xander Lovell has attacked Riley Arwell with Fine! You want a show?!! GS: Xander Lovell has gained 1 Combo! GS: Xander Lovell has launched an attack Link! GS: Xander Lovell's stances have changed from Link and Stoic to Avenger and Link! GS: Xander Lovell spends 3 Combo on Gatling, loading 3 into Gatling! GS: Formation! Xander Lovell has attacked Riley Arwell with Final Curtain! GS: Xander Lovell has gained 1 Combo! GS: Xander Lovell takes 23 damage from Poison! GS: Xander Lovell has completed his action. GS: Riley Arwell accepts Xander Lovell's Fine! You want a show?! for 0 hit points! GS: Riley Arwell takes a glancing hit from Xander Lovell's Final Curtain for 145 hit points! GS: Reaction switch bonus! Riley Arwell gains 1 additional Combo! GS: FP up! Reaction bonus activated!
GS: Riley Arwell has activated Force Action: Full Clip! <Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley's hope wavers with Xander's doubt. It's true. He could be sending them into nothingness, or a hell he won't be strong enough to bear. They won't know until it's over. But what else is there to do? They're out of time, out of options... at least for the moment their souls might be free to escape Valmar's grasp, whatever other fate might await them. They have to die someday very soon, and with the potion in effect, this is their best, maybe their last chance to die as themselves.
Xander crashes into the walls of the shrinking coffin, cracking open the wood and pushing the panels apart even as the spikes tear into him. But Riley renews his call, rerouting and reshaping the branches. He wraps his arms around Xander, letting himself and the coffin walls crash down with him, so that Xander's body weight slams him into the spikes below.
Above them, the "lid" hangs open, letting in the light. There's no need to close it yet.
"Xander, I'm so sorry. I love you. But it's really over, now. We have to go." Riley leans over him, pressing the knife toward his neck. Through the resonance, his heart twists, some of his tears splashing Xander as they fall.
GS: Riley Arwell has attacked Xander Lovell with Brush with Death! GS: Riley Arwell has gained 2 Combo! GS: Riley Arwell has completed his action. GS: Xander Lovell takes a solid hit from Riley Arwell's Brush with Death for 240 hit points! GS: Reaction switch bonus! Xander Lovell gains 1 additional Combo! GS: Break blocked! GS: FP up! Sufferer activated! GS: Xander Lovell enters CONDITION GREEN!! GS: Xander Lovell has Fallen! He is no longer able to fight!
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
The coffin does not fully give way. Xander bruises himself against the panels and finds himself pulled back in branches and Riley's arms before the disorientation ends with a harsh landing upon the spikes. Xander's eye shoots open as blood seeps out under him, staining into his white shirt.
That sudden surge of emotions pulls out like the tide, blank from the shock. And even once that passes, none of them return.
Xander stares up at Riley, but there's no focus in his eyes. A warm tear hits his cheek, not even his own, and rolls down. Hand shaking, Xander manages to lift his fingers to Riley's face, brushing against his cheek searchingly.
Riley's hurt. A heartache that Xander never wanted him to feel, yet feared he didn't. That he wouldn't. Every pulse from Xander's resonance grows weaker and softer. His hand nearly drops, barely having the strength to catch itself on Riley's wrist, then moves to grip the knife.
Tears fill his own eye and fall. He tries to speak, and finds he can't. All he can do is try to mouth it will trembling lips that muddle the meaning. Only his soul can say.
The last ounce of Xander's resolve hardens, and he jerks the blade across his own throat so that Riley doesn't have to.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
They've already done this dance too many times, it all feels familiar. They've been on the brink of death together before, lying together in some coffin of Riley's creation, whether real or metaphorical. This is the part where Xander is supposed to defy him. Defy Riley, defy death, defy their fate. Even with Riley's own voice forming the words that it's time to go, some part of his heart is waiting for Xander to turn it all upside-down again, to find them another reprieve and make him feel foolish and awful for nearly ending it all before it really had to be time.
As Xander's hand wraps around his wrist, there's a subconscious sense of satisfaction and relief. Here it is again, that familiar resolve.
Riley feels his hand jerked in the wrong direction. He yelps in panic and surprise, eyes flying wide as he pulls back against Xander's grip. He can't stop the momentum entirely, and a shallow gash is opened on Xander's neck. He clutches the knife possessively against himself and away from Xander, frozen, no longer sure what he's doing or trying to do.
"Xander..." his voice is shaken. "What are you doing?"
The music has died away in an echo of Riley's shock.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander winces, the flash of new pain bringing a flicker of energy with it -- one that will die quickly, if Xander cannot take advantage of it. Numbness is filling in the cracks of him. It's over. He has no answers and it's over. His life is bleeding away.
He failed.
The least he can do is make sure it isn't Riley's fault. Didn't he promise Riley once that he'd be the one to get his hands dirty?
His hand slips away from the knife as Riley pulls it back, heavily finding its way to Xander's throat. Exploring the wound, he finds it too shallow. Xander turns his wrist, exploring the thorns growing from it, knowing one might be sharp and long enough to finish it.
"I'm sorry," he manages, his voice no stronger than a murmur, "This is all I have left to give you."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Xander, no. No, it's too sad." This is horrible. Is he... looking for another weapon!? Xander has given up? He's going to take his own life?! Suddenly the urge to gather him up and comfort him is more important than anything else that could possibly be going on. He doesn't want to see Xander looking so lost and empty. He doesn't want him to be hurting anymore.
The coffin and other plant life Riley summoned wither away to dust -- which removes the spikes from Xander's back but can do nothing for the injuries they caused. Riley grabs Xander up in a desperate embrace, sobbing against him.
"I don't want that, I don't need that!" Valmar's threats seem somehow distant and absurd. Why should Riley have to hurt Xander, drive him to want to end himself? What could possibly make that right?!
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander chokes a gasp as the spikes pull away, leaving nothing to plug his wounds. A wave of dizziness comes with the sudden shift in sensation. It's replaced by Riley's warmth, the wetness of tears more concerning than blood. That's what he asked for, in the end. To be held.
But it's not... ended. Riley's crying. Riley's not supposed to be crying. Why --
'Too sad'? Of course it was. It always was. But --
'Doesn't want' -- Xander understands now, that's why -- 'Doesn't need'...
...
...
Indignation manages to find its way to Xander's hypoxic mind.
"What."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't die..."
Riley hears the indignant 'what' but is too fraught to fully process it; all it accomplishes in the emotion of the moment is to imagine it as a rebuke aimed at what he's already most guilty about, which reminds him of all the holes and poison he put in Xander and how he might die ANYWAY if he doesn't do something about them.
He releases him to lean against himself and steals his bag, rooting through it for bandages and healing syringes.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Of all the things for Riley to ask of him now, in this very moment, after everything that's happened... After the past few days. After eleven god damn attempt at his life. Eleven! He's counting the train after all! He's counting everything!
In any one of these moments, had Xander simply said, what, 'okay', Riley would have realized how upsetting it all really was and stopped?!
Xander stares openly at the space where he assumes Riley is in his dwindling vision, so shocked that he's forgotten he is already actively dying. So great is his baffled fury that it may stave off death for a few minutes more alone.
He pulls his arm up to grab onto Riley, missing once before clawing his fingers in. It'd hurt if it had any strength. It does not.
"Riley," he hisses threateningly. "Riley, where are you. I am going to bite you."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Xander's vision seems to be fading out on him, but he has enough spirit to threaten to bite. Riley's heart swells with both worry and encouragement.
"Yes, good. There's the Xander I love." He stabs him with a syringe of healing potion and pushes up his bloody shirt to start bandaging his back. "Shh, just hold on, you can bite me all you want in a second."
What's he going to do about all the poison? Xander already took his general-purpose antidote... When he finishes with Xander's back, he starts trying to clean the other wounds like he can wash the poison out of them. It's mostly futile. They'll probably just have to wait for the poisons to clear his system, assuming it wasn't a fatal dose...
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Concerningly, Xander does not have the available blood or life to flush with Riley's affectionate teasing when his face twitches in a familiar way suggesting it should. His lips are more blue than pink. His shirt is torn and the back soaked in blood -- there's probably no saving it, if there's any saving the man wearing it.
He sucks in a soft breath at the injection. A pinch, not a stab. What is happening. Xander was perfectly ready to -- now he doesn't even want to think it! And now Riley is trying to save his life?!
Xander growls, then winces sharply with the washing of his wounds. It's a good sign that he's not quite so numb anymore. At the very least, Riley can keep any excess from seeping into Xander's bloodstream... but the rest is up to time and antidote, and Xander's only held together by the threads of his own outrage.
So, business as usual.
But that, too, falters. Xander sags, the pain, poison, and blood loss taking their toll.
"The... ocean. I'm going to bite you and... throw you in the ocean..."
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
Riley eventually patches all the wounds on Xander that are deep enough to still be bleeding. He looks him over with lingering worry, but since there's nothing more he knows how to do medically, he offers him his arm.
"Here you go, bite away. You can do the ocean part when you're feeling better." What is he even doing? What is he thinking? There wasn't going to be a later. What even happens now?
...It doesn't matter. Riley doesn't care. He doesn't want to care about anything except making Xander all right again.
<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.
Xander grips at Riley's arm blindly, taking a few tries to squeeze and hold on. There's another growl, weaker, before Xander simply... crumples. His head slumps into Riley's chest, hand squeezing at Riley's arm before his grip falls slack. The next breath Xander sucks in shudders with pain, breathing still hindered by the poisons.
But he's stabilized, and like his body has realized he doesn't need adrenaline to survive anymore, it leaves him.
And with it, the last remnants of his consciousness.
<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.
"Ah..." Riley's heart squeezes with more worry as Xander collapses against him. He wraps his arms around him and sits with him like that quietly. There's nothing left to do but wait now... and hope for a little more later. Even if Xander wakes up again, there's not much of a future left at all, is there? But... whatever they can get...
... if Valmar wants to destroy them, it's going to have to do it itself.