2024-05-24: Alien Ether
- Log: 2024-05-23 Alien Ether
- Cast: Loren Voss, Lan Lilac, Eleanor Klein
- Where: Ignas - Gunsmoke Desert
- Date: May 25, 2024
- Summary: Eleanor and Lan discover something more worrying than they bargained for when a vision leads them to Loren.
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
There's still analysis to be done out in the deserts of Filgaia. Even this far to the north and the east of the rift, and the disaster that had recently unfolded at its mouth. Once upon a time, this would have caused Loren some considerable anxiety, particularly concerning the rumors around who was apparently responsible. But now he's--
He's older now. It's different now. And there's work to be done elsewhere.
He'd come here alone. That, itself, might be one of the first oddities someone might notice about him now. He's alone but for the tomas he'd rented to ride out into the desert, which now ambles idlely back along the trail where he'd left it. This late in the day, it won't come to any harm until nightfall, and he has plans to be out of here by then.
In another world, perhaps wandering into a wadi could be dangerous depending on the season. But it won't rain in Gunsmoke. A sample. That's right. He's out here to collect samples.
And collect information on the locals.
And--
If he turns his head just so, he almost can hear singing.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
It feels good to be back in the Gunsmoke again. No matter how many times over the years Lan might have complained that it was sooooo hot and bright during the height of the day, it's her home. She's a child of the desert, for better or worse. And it's way more comfortable than snow, no matter how she looks at it.
It's different, tracking someone through the hard-packed stone and shallow sands. Closer to Aveh the sand is loose, the dunes rolling on and on. Wind constantly works to erase any tracks left. Here, the signs of someone's passing are fainter to begin with, but there's less of a race to find them. A tomas's claws and rough feet leave faint scrapes and fainter impressions on the hard-packed earth.
...Of course, Eleanor is with her today, and they're only out here to begin with because she had a vision. So Lan looking for footprints is maybe not as vital as it might otherwise be.
And Loren's really not doing anything to be hidden.
But if she had to, Lan could totally track him. "...What do you think he's doing?" she asks Eleanor, while they're still at a distance. It's a given that there are countless things and places buried underneath the sand here. But here, at the mouth of the ravine, it's hard to think of anything that wouldn't have been washed away by the same floodwaters that carved it.
And now that they've almost caught up with him, the only way to keep out of sight would be to take the high road, traveling along the lip of the canyon. But Lan doesn't want to sneak around. He's their friend. She's worried about him. So she starts down the trail after him, stopping to pet the rented tomas on her way. "Hi Loren! Are you lost?" she calls to him, because maybe he is! But he's probably not.
<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.
Eleanor is not so familiar with this desert, but it feels like...
It feels like she's been here before, all the same. Maybe because of the visions she's had here. Maybe for some other reason. Maybe it's just that 'Filgaia' is her charge, now.
But she's a daughter of the ocean, for better or worse. So she's following Lan, though her own vision guided them to the area in the first place. "So, it was... at a dune that looked like..."
She murmurs, and then Lan asks the question. "I think he's looking for something," Eleanor says thoughtfully. She is dressed in light, flowing clothes for the desert, covered up a lot because of the sunlight.
But at the mouth of the ravine...
"Hello!" Eleanor calls, with a wave. She's not sure this is the best approach, but Lan has made it the approach.
So that's fine.
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
He hasn't even brought a hat, which is perhaps not as necessary at this time of day but still a notable thing to be missing -- he otherwise would look just like another other wanderer of the wastes with the sword at his hip and his travel-worn clothing.
The fact is that as long as Lan has known him, Loren has professed an immense dislike of the desert. Although, to be fair, he has professed a deep dislike of many things (the cold, the taste of nutribars, waking up early, other people, bugs in general, horses, ghosts is an incomplete list). Still, he would have to be doing something for his 'work' to be out here, wouldn't he?
It's hard to believe he'd be poking around in the extreme reachs of the Gunsmoke desert for any other reason. And he's never been the sort to 'willingly' explore for the fun of it, if someone else hasn't twisted his arm first.
He pauses by striated stone, letting his bare fingers touch the rock. Is it here?
...Is what here?
He pauses for the moment and almost, almost has to acknowledge what rests on his heart.
And then Lan calls out to him. And then, so does Eleanor.
He turns to face them both.
"...Why are you here?" There's none of his usual indignation, just a muted sort of bafflement as to why he's been followed.
He looks the both of them over, as if trying to assess something or other about them.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Lan's clothing isn't as light as Eleanor's, but she wears far less of it beneath her once-white hooded cloak. It covers her down to the knees, the gauzey cloth just opaque enough to keep the sun off of her and light enough to let whatever breezes she might encounter get through to her skin. The paint on her cheeks is a darker hue than she wears elsewhere, the better to prevent the worst of the glare during the brightest part of the day while they'd traveled.
There might have been a better approach, but Lan wouldn't have a use for it. Not with him. But there's already some extra bit of strangeness, and Lan is struggling to put her finger on it. Lately, there are other people with him when he's been sent out for something specific. Not always, but often enough that their absence is notable. There should be... equipment, or something.
His fingers brush against the stone of the ravine wall. Searching, huh...
Maybe they could have hung back a little longer, watched him more. But Lan didn't want to wait. And if Lan is taken aback by his lack of irritation, his failure to puff up like an indignant bird, she doesn't mention it. She just shoves her hood back off of her hair and goes back to petting the tomas.
Why are they here? Lan's fingers slow as they stroke through the animal's weird fur-feathers, and she looks to Eleanor for a beat. Uh. She hadn't thought that far ahead, and she can't remember if Eleanor wanted to say anything to anybody Solaris-adjacent about having Capital-V Visions, so she does the first thing she can think of. "What a good bird-monster-thing you are! Yes you are!"
She leaves it up to Eleanor.
<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.
Eleanor is a little jealous of Lan's attire--it has to be cooler. Oh, sure, she's fine, because she has an icy talisman that helps her stay comfortable in the heat, but Eleanor could never wear something quie so gauzy.
There is already some strangeness, indeed. There are no people, no equipment... and no indignation.
"Loren...?" she wonders for a moment.
But then Lan SELLS HER OUT.
Eleanor blinks once--ut she is trained in decorum, so she recovers... more gracefully than Loren might. "Ahem. Yes. Well."
"We were looking for you," she says truthfully-ish. "I have... sources."
She almost told him about her visions, once. Almost.
"But that's less important right now. What are you doing here? You'll catch your death out in the desert alone..."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
Lately, it's rare for him to be alone -- one of the perks of advancement and no longer needing to necessarily do the dirty work alone or at all. Lately until now, apparently. But if they are here, they're being very good at hiding.
And hiding the vehicles, other tomas, or equipment, too.
All in all, this seems almost normal... for anyone except notably crabby Loren Voss. He hadn't even been muttering to himself. If he's been sent out here on assignment for one thing or another in the depths of the Gunsmoke Desert alone, shouldn't he be complaining? Instead all he does is look puzzled, glance between Lan and Eleanor as the former abdicates responsibility and the latter takes on the mantle of managing this situation, and raise an eyebrow.
"Sources? Like what? I didn't tell either of you where I was going." Suspicion! That's more normal. Maybe that's a relief. "...And, I'm busy of course. I'm looking for something."
He glances at the rock wall again as if divining something secret about it.
If it's here, it's further along. The singing has faded.
"Besides, I can take care of myself." He pats a hand against the hilt of his sword in emphasis.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
SHE WILL APOLOGIZE LATER OKAY, SHE PANICKED
Thank goodness for Eleanor! Trained in etiquette and schooled in decorum Eleanor! Who saves the day with barely any hesitation while Lan is busy combing sand out of a monster of burden's haystack-looking fur.
"I think she was thinking more along the lines of how cold it gets out here at night. Remember when you came to visit my village? With Leah." They had all been grateful for the warmth of the hearth fire once the heat of the sun had faded (however slowly) from the sandstone and wood and daub of Lan's childhood home. She watches his hand rest on the hilt of his sword, once his brother's. "Are you gonna stab the cold to death?" she teases lightly, finally leaving the poor bird-thing alone. It chases her hands with its armored face, seeking a few more scritches before going back to its important tomas business.
He doesn't really seem to be in a mood to stab anything, really. Which is... weird. He's decidedly less crabby than usual for someone out in an environment he dislikes so much. She throws a wide-eyed, clueless look Eleanor's way when Loren isn't looking at Lan.
'Does this seem weird to you, too?' she wants to ask.
"What're you looking for? Can we help?" she asks instead. See? Lan can be diplomatic!
<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.
Eleanor is pretty sure they are not here. She hasn't even been shot at yet.
...and she'll probably forgive Lan, though not perhaps without some argument. It was terrible!!
"I can turn into a bird," Eleanor supplies for Loren. "I see things." Now she's implying things that are technically true that aren't! She really is becoming a Sage...
Lan glances at Elenaor, and Eleanor glances back at Lan. She considers for a moment, but when that clueless look registers--
'He's acting quite strangely,' Eleanor's voice comes to Lan's mind, though her lips do not move. 'Do you have any idea what could cause it?'
Then, "She's right. It's very cold out here at night." She's not so sure they should help, if it's somethign for Solaris, but...
"It's odd that no one's helping already," she settles on instead.
Gwen Whitlock (Gwen) pages Lan Lilac, Eleanor Klein, and Loren Voss: mind a watcher?
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
Does he remember how cold it got at night in Little Firelight?
Something -- fleeting and complicated and difficult -- flickers across his expression. There in its wake there follows an emotion far more familiar to Lan-- irritation. It's muted, coals of a fire smoldering, but at least it is there and it's not like Loren got replaced by a pod person or something like that. This is still Loren, in spite of the strangely dispassionate state he's displaying. "Of course I do. I'm not stupid," he tells her, and judging by the direction of that pointed glance of his, he might well be implying who he thinks the stupid person is. "And don't be silly. I'm planning to leave by nightfall."
Nightfall will still be cutting it close.
Eleanor tells him that she's been able to keep an eye on him because she can turn into a bird. "...Great," he sighs, again just a footstep more like himself. "Did she put you up to this?" He jerks his head towards Lan, as if to impugn her! "Is this because I've been ignoring your messages?"
He doesn't want to see her, he doesn't want to let her see.
No. No, that's wrong. He didn't do anything.
What's he looking for, though?
"Disturbances," he tells them readily enough. "Signs of the rift's impact on the world."
For the source of that song.
For that gift that rests for him and him alone to--
He didn't. He isn't. It's not.
"...All they needed was a specialist. And this isn't a dangerous site. You're both worrying too much," he sighs. And even in this, he's a shade of his former self.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Lan blinks, going still for the briefest of moments before relaxing again. That's right, she'd forgotten that trick of Eleanor's. ...Is 'trick' really the right word for being able to talk right into someone else's head? ...Maybe now's not the time to worry about that...
But even beyond that, unease wrinkles across her mind. There are a lot of things that could make Loren act strangely. Drugs (though none that he's likely to have taken), possession (but Rahab was purged from him), a secret third thing (unknown)...
She tries to convey all of this to Eleanor, but the jumble of images and anxieties that comes across is probably more than either of them wanted to share. In a word, though: yes. Yes, there are a number of things that could do this - have done this - to Loren.
Even if it's soething for Solaris, if they were to help him find it they could beat him up a little and take it from him (and Solaris, by extension). It's a good plan!
It ought to be strange that it's reassuring to see him bristle, but... that's how they've always been. Lan does something that makes him snap at her, and whatever he says washes right off of her. On the rare occasion that he finds something sharp enough to really hurt her, she shares that pain with him. It's a strange kind of friendship.
"I didn't put anyone up to anything!" she protests. "But since you mentioned it, you should at least send a little reply or something!" She's right next to him now, reaching out for his wrist--
<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.
Eleanor can't entirely parse Lan's response to her; she's knows the 'trick' (it's fine for now), but isn't very experienced at using it to transmit more than words. So she has to tilt her head and think for a moment. The third thing she doesn't know, but...
But 'yes', she seizes on, and nods without speech.
"Nightfall would be cutting it close," Eleanor admits. But--
Lan didn't put her up to it. "No," leanor says. But at least he sounds a little more like himself. "It is rude to ignore--"
Disturbances. Signs of the rift's...
"I could help with that," Eleanor says. "And would be willing to. It's in all of our interests to understand the Rifts."
"...I'm very good at worrying," Eleanor admits. "That much is true. But even so--"
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
What if he's just changed? What if his alignment to Solaris' cause has been such that he's just... changed himself and everything he's about to make himself fit better? Except, even that wouldn't fit right -- Lan knows he's tried before. Tried, and failed.
And here he is standing before her now and still himself yes, but a himself that has been smeared under glass like a sample of pondwater atop a laboratory slide. Something's happened since she tried to incapacitate him within Pokemon Manor and all the terrible things that followed after (that she'd heard about). Surely he hasn't undergone the same treatment that Myyah Hawwa had subjected her to?
"And? It's still fine. I'm not going to die because it got cold while I was riding back," he insists, a little more heated than he's been.
"It's the sort of thing you would do," he points out to Lan. Her hand slips towards his and, spotting the movement, Loren snaps his hand away from her. But Lan's reflexes here are the faster of the two -- or at least, certainly, she knows him well enough to anticipate what he's about to do. Her hand catches his wrist in spite of his attempt to evade her.
And he widens his eyes and there's something like shock there--
Before he moves to wrench his hand away. "--I said I'm fine," he replies.
Nobody said he wasn't.
Loren's silent for a moment after.
"...If you want to come and look, then come and look."
He presses down within, as if he could simply find a hole deep enough to pitch its presence away into, and looks away.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
"Don't act like it's bad to have people to care about whether or not you freeze to death, you dork," Lan gripes at him, hand reaching for him - she wants him to look at her, to really hear her words. Brown fingers wrap comfortably around his wrist, and for a moment all is well.
And then Lan is reminded.
scent of a forgotten ocean on a dead planet - her own head cradled in her arms - killing his brother over and over - murdered endlessly by his brother - the gyre
eyes bluer than azure - his hand oninside of her - familiar wretched wisp of ether
They aren't the overwhelming, choking flashbacks they were once. But they're enough to stagger Lan, make her tongue heavy in her mouth and her body clumsy with remembered fear.
And Loren yanks his hand away and Lan is alone in her skin once more, blinking slowly as her fingers rub against one another. It wasn't... it can't be. There's no... no reason...
Except that it is. That's all the 'proof' she could possibly need, isn't it?
Leah Sadalbari had checked him for traces of the Stranger's ether and found nothing. And yet. "......."
She should move. She should say something. Anything. But Lan's eyes are wide and her mouth is a tiny, thin line.
<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.
"Yes," Eleanor agrees with Lan about Loren's response. And that he's a dork, possibly. "It's normal! It's good!"
Eleanor remains worried. Loren says it's still fine, but she is not so sure of that. Especially not when she feels a jolt at the touch between the two of them. Lan is reminded of much, and Eleanor cannot read her mind, but she knows something has happened. Loren is--
"Lan?" Eleanor says, stepping forward in concern for her friend. "Lan," she says seriouslly, reaching a hand out to place it gently on her arm. "Are you all right...?"
'Helping' takes a backseat for now to caring for Lan. Eleanor examines her carefully, with senses mystical and otherwise, frowning in thought.
===== +stats: Lan Lilac ========================================================
___________________________________| Form 1 |___________________________________
_ Iron Butterfly CP: 325 AP: 161 DP: 62 _
_ REF: 45 _
_ POW: 47 13 Agility _
_ VIT: 43 14 Brute _
_ SOR: 40 16 Combat _
_ ARM: 36 10 Wits _
_ TEC: 40 _
_ +++Personal Skills: Duck and Cover, Energize, Finest Arts, Focus, Force _
_ Critical, Forceful, Gleam, Master, Overclock, Parry, Quick Draw, Saboteur, _
_ Sniper, and Tactician. _
_ +++Tools: (4) Butterfly Ribbon (Minor Agility Quicken, Efficient, and _
_ Liability), Paku-Paku (Minor Wits Enlighten), and Surprise Meteor (Minor _
_ Brute Strengthen). _
|' Dancing In The Dark Db 46 TEC BLND DRPT 15 15 '|
|' Starlight Shimmer Db 04 SOR HEAL MTY REST 20 20 '|
|' Paper Moon Db 58 TEC HDST POI FOL 20 20 '|
|' Akashic Arts Db 68 TEC CRP 30 10 '|
|' Double Weave Db 68 TEC ACC2 30 10 '|
|' Meteorainbow Db 610 SOR ACC2 GAT 30 15 '|
|' Misterioso Db 610 TEC DSPL PRG FOL 30 20 '|
|' Move Like Water Db 46 TEC MTY RIP LINK 45 25 '|
|' Ribbon Dance Db 34 TEC MUTE SLOW LINK 45 25 '|
|' Cosmic Love Sig 09 SOR AREA REFI HI-H RELO 30 25 '|
|' Grace and Glory Sig 00 TEC AMP BRST RELO REST SURG 35 35 '|
|' Material - Shooting Star Sig 710 SOR ACC1 ART GAT HEX 60 35 '|
|' Counting Stars Sig 012 TEC ROUL BRK SHBR 60 50 '|
|' Magic Lantern Butterfly M-A 811 SOR SMIT DLY DRWS MSRY 75 30 '|
----| FORCE ACTIONS: Accelerate , Extend , Full Clip , and Lock On |-----
DC: You switch forms to Iron Butterfly! DC: Lan Lilac switches forms to Iron Butterfly! ===== +stats: Lan Lilac ======================================================== ___________________________________| Form 1 |___________________________________ _ Iron Butterfly CP: 325 AP: 161 DP: 62 _ _ REF: 45 _ _ POW: 47 13 Agility _ _ VIT: 43 14 Brute _ _ SOR: 40 16 Combat _ _ ARM: 36 10 Wits _ _ TEC: 40 _ _ +++Personal Skills: Duck and Cover, Energize, Finest Arts, Focus, Force _ _ Critical, Forceful, Gleam, Master, Overclock, Parry, Quick Draw, Saboteur, _ _ Sniper, and Tactician. _ _ +++Tools: (4) Butterfly Ribbon (Minor Agility Quicken, Efficient, and _ _ Liability), Paku-Paku (Minor Wits Enlighten), and Surprise Meteor (Minor _ _ Brute Strengthen). _ |' Dancing In The Dark Db 4/6 TEC BLND DRPT 15 / 15 '| |' Starlight Shimmer Db 0/4 SOR HEAL MTY REST 20 / 20 '| |' Paper Moon Db 5/8 TEC HDST POI FOL 20 / 20 '| |' Akashic Arts Db 6/8 TEC CRP 30 / 10 '| |' Double Weave Db 6/8 TEC ACC2 30 / 10 '| |' Meteorainbow Db 6/10 SOR ACC2 GAT 30 / 15 '| |' Misterioso Db 6/10 TEC DSPL PRG FOL 30 / 20 '| |' Move Like Water Db 4/6 TEC MTY RIP LINK 45 / 25 '| |' Ribbon Dance Db 3/4 TEC MUTE SLOW LINK 45 / 25 '| |' Cosmic Love Sig 0/9 SOR AREA REFI HI-H RELO 30 / 25 '| |' Grace and Glory Sig 0/0 TEC AMP BRST RELO REST SURG 35 / 35 '| |' Material - Shooting Star Sig 7/10 SOR ACC1 ART GAT HEX 60 / 35 '| |' Counting Stars Sig 0/12 TEC ROUL BRK SHBR 60 / 50 '| |' Magic Lantern Butterfly M-A 8/11 SOR SMIT DLY DRWS MSRY 75 / 30 '| ----| FORCE ACTIONS: Accelerate , Extend , Full Clip , and Lock On |-----
DC: You switch forms to Battle Girl Lan wants to fight!! DC: Lan Lilac switches forms to Battle Girl Lan wants to fight!! ===== +stats: Lan Lilac ======================================================== ___________________________________| Form 4 |___________________________________ _ Battle Girl Lan wants to fight! CP: 320 AP: 162 DP: -20 _ _ REF: 44 _ _ POW: 40 Agility _ _ VIT: 39 Brute _ _ SOR: 40 Combat _ _ ARM: 33 Wits _ _ TEC: 40 _ _ +++Personal Skills: Adept, ARM Absorber, Cripple Ward, Force Critical, _ _ Guerilla, Healer, Polymath, Power Burst, Sentinel, Slow Ward, Sniper, Sound _ _ Mind, Supply Chain, Tough, Versatile Attacker, and Versatile Defender. _ _ +++Tools: () . _ |' Remedy Db 0/0 ARM RCVR 0 / 0 '| |' Rock Throw Db 4/5 TEC AREA ENC 5 / 5 '| |' Grass Knot Db 5/9 TEC PRG 15 / 5 '| |' Comet Punch Db 5/7 TEC ART BRU3 15 / 10 '| |' Low Kick Db 5/6 TEC TSH INTR 15 / 15 '| |' Play Rough Db 4/5 TEC WKN 15 / 15 '| |' Dazzling Gleam Db 4/5 SOR LKY2 BLND 15 / 15 '| |' Lemonade Db 0/0 ARM INSP RGN RELO 15 / 15 '| |' Aerial Ace Db 5/7 TEC ACC5 25 / 20 '| |' Helping Hand Db 0/0 TEC BLTZ MTY 30 / 0 '| |' Cosmic Power Sig 0/0 SOR COV HYPE REST SHLD 10 / 10 '| |' Sandstorm Sig 7/8 TEC AREA BRU1 BLND 60 / 25 '| |' Fresh Water Sig 0/15 ARM FULL RCVR 60 / 40 '| |' Psywave Sig 0/12 SOR ROUL DRWS SLOW 60 / 50 '| |' Solar Beam Sig 8/9 SOR INTR 75 / 35 '| |' Lan Interrupt! M-A 8/12 TEC CURB FAC INTR 75 / 30 '| ------| FORCE ACTIONS: Accelerate , Boost , Full Clip , and Guard |------
GS: Attempting Mystic Arte or Link attack under the Stagger status.
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
"That's not--" Loren starts, sounding a lot more like himself before Lan takes him by the wrist in spite of his best efforts to avoid her grasp.
And he knows, in that moment, even as he too-late pulls his hand away, that she knows. Something like panic wells up against the inky black and he takes a step backwards, feeling his own control slip for just that moment.
...That she knows what? Nothing's wrong.
Like iron, like lead, the wall comes down hard within. Denial is a powerful weapon, and it's long been a tool with which Loren has experience. Reasserting himself, he turns his attention back over at Lan.
"...Is something wrong?"
He knows what's wrong--
He cannot, will not acknowledge it. He can't let her know. She already knows. He has to pretend--
"..."
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
"Tha... it..." Lan's eyebrows furrow as the words get jammed together on her tongue. Her body is tense under Eleanor's palm, but not unnaturally so; she isn't gearing up for a fight, and she isn't about to swoon or burst into tears. But something in her is reacting to something in Loren. That black ribbon, that alien Ether -- the Stranger had torn her open and shoved a seed of his madness inside of her soul and psyche. The deal she had been tricked into making, such as it was, merely sewed her back together around it. In due time, it had threaded itself throughout her until removing it might be impossible.
It's that choking vine that resonates with the seed sprouting inside of Loren's own Ether.
He pulls away from her. How could this happen? She would have known. She would have felt it. "What happened," Lan manages, after a moment of struggling for something to say. "Why are you--"
Eleanor's hand is warm on her arm. Lan takes a step backwards, towards the sage. No. He was supposed to be safe from her.
Except who had ever told Lan that?
Is something wrong?
"I sensed something, just now," she tries to explain, looking back at Eleanor for a moment. "Loren," and both of Lan's hands come up, like she might reach for his shoulders. "Why do you feel like him?!"
Eleanor might receive a jumble of sensations and images: the chill of water rising past her hips, the bright and routine gleam of a blade raised to take her apart again, unholy blue flaying her down to her shivering, naked essence.
Loren already knows who Lan must be talking about; she has only ever said 'him' like that about one man.
<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.
Eleanor can tell Lan is at least in control of herself, but she's still very worried. Eleanor looks to Loren as he asks if something is wrong. She frowns, becuase something about that is... wrong, itself.
Lan seems to understand better than Eleanor does what's going on, though as she explains, Eleanor looks, and feels--
Ah. Blue.
Eleanor knows that color well, knows it in ages and nightmares, though it never had a hold on her the way it oes some.
Eleanor turns to face both of them. "...Please answer the question."
'Him'. It must be, but...
How? Why?
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
He stares at her blankly, as if he weren't sure what she were talking about. As if he weren't already aware of what is beginning to sprout within. As if he weren't in denial about its existence in the first place -- or willingly working to sever his unfortunate awareness of what he's done to himself from his own conscious mind. But even he can only deny so much to himself about his state of mind, and even he can't stem the rising panic within. Maybe, there's some way to cast it out still. Maybe, together, they could--
But that would require admitting what had happened.
Even Leah's promise about the corruption Lan bears applied to himself seems a pale threat to the shame of Lan knowing that he'd--
The door slams shut. No. Absolutely not. He's not going to think about that. Not now.
"I--" he starts and stops. He shakes his head. "I don't know what you're talking about," he tells Lan, glancing away.
Shut the door. Bolt it, chain it. Nothing can get in or out.
He is not hearing the faint traces of a song. He is not hearing anything.
"--I said that nothing happened. You're all worked up about nothing," he lies to Eleanor and his closest friend in the world. His heart is pounding in his chest. If he ran, how far would he get before she caught up to him?
Unconsciously, his left hand has inched towards the hilt of his blade and rests there.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
It's wrong, wrong, wrong. Everything. All of it.
Did she do this to him? Lan had already hurt him with the black ribbon once without meaning to. There, in that underground vault of lights, she'd been pressed and pressed and finally pressed back, her leash on that power frayed until it snapped. She thought she'd killed him, and then she thought she had erased him. She's still not sure which one would have destroyed her worse.
"I know what I felt!" she insists, turning to look pleadingly at Eleanor when Loren remains unmoved. "I do! I don't know why you won't--"
He insists. Movement near his hip catches Lan's eye, and she watches as he rests his hand on the hilt of his sword. (No longer his brother's. Not as it had been when he returned to the inn on the Thunder Plains, soaked to the skin, and there had been something missing in his eyes when he looked at her and drew it.)
Lan is abruptly, wretchedly reminded of everything that Loren is, no matter what she believes he could become. A brother, a scapegoat, a son, a soldier. A young man who is so, so tired. A coward.
She is quiet for long moments, lifting her pale eyes back to his face with effort. She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know what to do. "I won't-- I'm not going to--" But she might. She doesn't know that she won't hurt him. That she hasn't already.
Lan backs up until she's flanking Eleanor, though it feels more like she's retreating behind her. Like Eleanor could protect them from one another. "I'm... I didn't imagine it," she insists, but Lan knows it won't do any good. "Just... just be careful. If Leah sees it too--"
They had scanned him for it. If they find it...
<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.
Eleanor could try to push the matter. She could press Loren for more information, in ways that Lan might not be willing. ...But if he won't confide in Lan, would he respond any better to Eleanor's interrogation?
No. He 'doesn't know what they're talking about.'
And Lan... Eleanor looks at her sympathetically, and then narrows her eyes at Loren. She notices that Lan stes behind her--near her. Supporting her, but... asking her for support, too.
"There's no need for the sword, soldier," Eleanor says. "I won't draw my weapon, either." Her voice is more distant than it was. She's protecting Lan, now. That... will be enough.
"She cares about you," Eleanor points out, and it is absolutely an accusation, the words wielded like a knife. "...You don't have to try to make her doubt her own senses. If you don't want to acknowledge it..."
"Then that's your choice, for now." She doesn't look away from Loren. "...Lan, I think we should go."
"But don't think this is the end of it. ...We'll see you again, and soon."
The way she says it, it isn't just an intention.
Maybe she's protecting him, too, but it hurts her heart to separate them like this. Nevertheless...
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
It had happened once there.
And then it had happened again, far more recently. He had used Drive and her ribbons had burst from her body.
But he knows that wasn't the source of his contamination (he's fine, nothing is wrong) and he knows that she knows that he's (no, she can't, she can't, he didn't want--)--
She still insists. She knows she what she felt, after all, and he finds himself taking one step forward as if to press an attack that he,
There's no need for the sword, Eleanor says, and he glances down at his hip and as if startled, peels away one finger after the other from the hilt. When did he--? Without even thinking about it...? And he looks up, and Eleanor continues, because she still has things that she wants to tell him.
Important things.
She cares about you. You don't have to try to make her doubt her senses. It might as well be a bullet to the chest. He flinches at that. Why can't it be otherwise? It would be so much easier if it were--
"I didn't-- ask you to," he says, glancing away. "I didn't ask you to come here and bother me." He sounds more like himself. The bolted door within rattles against its chains. "Just leave me alone."
'Just be careful. If Leah sees it too--'
And he's struck again, on some para-level, that this is the least of his problems.
"That's... that's nothing you need to worry about," he finishes.
They'll see him again soon.
Probably, as much as he'd wish otherwise.
Almost certainly.
If they go, he doesn't watch them. Loren turns, himself, and continues to head along that path. He remains as ignorant and aware of the song that guides him even now.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Until she knows, knows for sure that this isn't something she did...
Maybe it isn't, she reasons, reaching for that spark of hope. Maybe it was just the Stranger. But that wouldn't fix what's broken, only absolve Lan of the guilt of it. And while she's busy grasping for straws, Eleanor is the one who calmly announces that there's no need for weapons. Eleanor is the one protecting her.
He seems to realize what his hand was doing, and how he'd taken a single step. Lan's eyes crease at the corners, her mouth drooping. Was he really going to raise his sword against her again?
"You don't have to ask us to. We're your friends. I told you before." You have to help your friends. You lighten their burdens, you console them, you don't let them do things they'll regret. Because you care about them.
She's still troubled, but Eleanor is right. It's his choice, for now. And they've more than overstayed their welcome. "...Yeah," she nods. "Let's go back." She doesn't want to. Saying the words feels like abandoning him.
But what else can they do?