2019-08-17: The Problem Is, We Haven't Met
- Log: 2019-08-17: Cooldown
- Cast: Lydia Seren, Ivan
- Where: The Moonflow
- Date: August 18, 2019
- Summary: In the aftermath of the Shadow Dragon cult battle, Lydia checks in on Ivan.
===============================<* The Moonflow *>=============================== The Moonflow is a large river that bisects Spira's largest island into southern and northern halves. Strange flowers called Moonlilies grow on the Moonflow's banks, attracting pyreflies that gather on its surface at night, making the water sparkle. Although a beautiful area, the weather tends to be overcast more often than not, the souls of the dead providing the most reliable source of illumination. The primary method of crossing the Moonflow is aboard a shoopuf - an elephantine creature that can swim across the expansive river. The crossing service is funded by the Temple of Yevon and is free of charge. BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wcVnJQ-FN4
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
Lydia didn't rest until after hugs to Talia have been given out and she fell asleep at which point Lydia rushed off a bit to throw up. It must have been some effort to keep that in for as long as she did. It's a messy silver gunky mess when she does too, a mess that evaporates quickly and leaves little trace of its presence.
Lydia returns shortly thereafter to check on Ivan. Upon finding him, she offers a relieved smile that he doesn't seem to be on fire anymore before flopping over onto her back and staring upward at the sky. Or ceiling? It's Schrodinger's location here but you get the deal.
Either way she seems comfortable lying on the floor and staring up at nothing so she doesn't budge from this position for several more moments.
But eventually she says, "Talia's gonna be okay." to him. "How about you?"
If she had her way she'd probably already be hugging him and it's probably inevitable but there's some hesitation here out of respect for Ivan's comfort levels.
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
Ivan is sitting outside whatever dwelling or establishment they found for Talia to rest in, trying to recover his strength before he sets off again. The pain inside him is fading, but he still takes measured breaths, waiting out the lingering dizziness and weakness.
He hears the now-familiar flop of Lydia depositing herself nearby, and gives a faint little smile, though he keeps looking on ahead in the hopes that she can't see it from this angle.
"Me? I didn't even get hurt in there really. With all of the blah blah blah and trying to kill everyone I know and recruit me. How is your neck?"
He definitely thought Lydia was dead in there for a while; he knows she has different physiology but he wasn't factoring in the... time delay between apparent Lydia murders and miraculous Lydia recoveries.
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
The now familiar flop. This time Lydia is kind of worried maybe Ivan is mad at her thanks to the power of insecurity that she actually does kind of miss the smile this time which would have, ironically, put her fears to rest.
Luckily asking about her neck doesn't hurt and Lydia smiles bigly as if Ivan had just confessed or something.
"Yeah, uh, my neck is fine! I thought I was a goner but I guess thinking about it it easn't as bad as the time when Janus shot me in the face pointblank! So I guess I'm fine! I'm...fine. So is my neck."
Ivan explains he wasn't hurt and Lysia admits, "I know. I just sort of figured you've had a real stressful time."
She snickers a bit. "Blah blah blah is right, right? Toldja they were up their own philosophy's ass."
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
Lydia assures him she is fine in the same breath as admitting she thought for a while she was going to die.
"It sounds like it was scary," he says, in a softer tone of voice.
But once she turns the topic back to him, he's back to Classic Ivan: "Oh. I don't really... have stress ever. So you don't need to worry about that."
Even though Lydia can't see his expression probably, he still takes care to say this with the straightest face possible even though he has run away from basic social encounters on a regular basis and he was the one who was losing his shit so bad he was setting off explosions randomly and might have had to get dragged off the battlefield if the enemy hadn't retreated.
Mocking the enemies is a bit more comfortable territory than discussing his EMOTIONS, so he agrees with her comment, making a derisive noise.
"They don't even have a damn mission, do they? The whole sales pitch was 'join me, get stronger for no reason, and as a bonus I'll murder everyone you know. Dumbasses."
But how is he going to kill them before it happens again...?
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
Lydia's cheeks silver very faintly, at least relative to how her entire face was silvered up for a while there. She sits herself up into a seated position. "I really think the leader really just breaking these kids so that he can feel--so he can be stronger himself. Like even the one there that punched a hole through me isn't really comparable to him. And if that's the case, he's not really doing a great job as a teacher now is he?" Considering she baiscally vaporized one of them she feels confident in saying that even while they may be 'stronger' than they would have been normally, none of them really compare to the leader who has proven to be nigh untouchable.
"Maybe they need to hire more merchants if they really want to get a proper sales pitch going. Like maybe don't start with the family murder but sort of reveal that as the 8th step of the 10 step program."
She has a bit of a dark humor streak to her. "But I'm guessing it'll be a while before they make a move again. You could still come to Filgaia, you know? They don't really have a presence on Filgaia. We have different assholes who don't really care about you."
She lowers her head. "But I guess I get it. Lunar's your home and all. Plus the food is better."
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
"Yeah. At least they're dumb enough to reveal the family murder thing upfront. At least there's that. Not that I would have fallen for it either way, but..."
Ivan sighs. It probably isn't good to get worked up again. He doesn't think he could get the chain reaction going again where he starts burning out of control, but it's probably safest not to press his luck.
Lydia invites him to run away to Filgaia--not to escape his father, but to evade the cult. Without the ... baggage of necessarily having to see it as meaning anything besides a solution to a clear and ongoing threat, he seriously thinks about it for a few moments.
"It might be a little... complicated for me to go to Filgaia. But maybe if everyone else I know went to Filgaia where the cult couldn't go after them randomly, that would be good..."
Ivan does not comment on the fact that it would be lonely for him if everyone he cared about went to Filgaia without him, since obviously he has no feelings and that kind of thing isn't a concern.
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
Lydia listens to Ivan's answer to that quietly. Lydia certainly has selfish reasons for wanting Ivan to go to Filgaia with her but the fact of the matter is, she kind of understands now that even if Ivan leaves Lunar and no longer has to fear his father or the cult nearly as much--he's still going to be Ivan and he's still going to have the same uncertainties and concerns as before.
Lydia stands herself up with a 'hupp!' and approaches Ivan.
And then... oh no! Here comes a hug! Can Ivan evade it in time?!
Either way, she says, "I can live okay on either world. If you want to stay on Lunar, I'd find a way to. And if I got dragged to Filgaia, I'd look for a way back. Maybe some day we'll be able to go back and forth freely, even."
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
Ivan does not flee the hug, but looks at Lydia questioningly, like he doesn't understand what it's for. Surely she has taken everything he said seriously and at face value so there is no reason for hugs right now because he is one hundred percent fine and has merely described a practical solution with no particular consequences?
His brows knit as she suggests staying on the same world as him, or traveling between. It's a lot of pressure to be her reason for choosing a world, and his mind still kind of rejects that that could be what she's getting at. He sort of pretends he didn't understand that part.
"It would be good if you could come and go as you wanted. If it was like that and there was a simple travel method, I might be able to... check it out there someday, depending on my obligations and all..."
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
Lydia's hug tightens before it releases. Lydia smiles. "Sorry for being selfish. That hug was for me. I really needed one."
She pulls away, reluctance in her eyes that she quickly banishes and checks out the surroundings one more time. A habitual worrier perhaps but this time she may be concerned they were followed. Her pupils dilate briefly as she scans about before returning to normal.
"We won." Lydia says. "It was messy and we couldn't even touch the guy but... We won. And we'll only get stronger. And every time he loses, every time his students lose, their weak worldview will only get wealer."
She nods slowly. Even if they end up on different worlds...it does not mean they will be seperated forever. "But I'll probably just stick around whichever world you're on the most. Usually we don't get to choose but I can at least stack the dice."
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
"Oh. If I'd known it was for you, I might've..." Ivan abandons the sentence and pretends he didn't start it. Clearly a man immune to fear or stress.
During the hug, Lydia may have been able to detect a bit of an elevated temperature, although perhaps that's not so noteworthy given that he was on fire for a decent about of time.
Lydia tries to cast the situation in a hopeful light, speculating that the enemy will simply be weakened over time, as they grow stronger. Ivan doesn't know if he believes that -- the cult has been going strong in one form or another since Amaranth was alive, a long time ago. Are they really going to get strong enough to take it down before something irreversible happens?
She reiterates that she'd rather stay on the same world as him. He winces a bit, chewing on some complicated thoughts and worries.
"I do... prefer for you to be on the same world as me..." he admits, very slowly, as if he isn't certain if each individual word ought to be let out, "...but I was sort of just saying the opposite, that maybe it's better to try to be on different worlds, so that they don't grab you and try to figure out something more permanent than normal murder methods."
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
"You can still do what you might've!" Lydia assures Ivan though she's honestly pretty sure he won't. She doesn't comment on Ivan's elevated temperature just yet either, probably trying to figure out mentally whether he might be sick (she saw him take the medicine but usually it's been mid or post fight) or if it's normal. As she's mulling on it, Ivan admits that he wants her to be on the same world as him too! "Aw Ivan!" She says, touched, but then he goes on to say that maybe they shouldn't be on the same world after all so she isn't murdered!
"Nah." Lydia says. "I mean, the people who want me can show up on both worlds anyway so I might be murdered on either world and statistically speaking two groups wanting to kidnap and/or kill me is not that big of a difference over one group wanting to kidnap or kill me right? Besides, I don't... I don't want living to mean giving up on what makes me happy, you know? Even with all the bullshit, I've never been happier than I have been the last few months."
She shifts her body weight slightly to the side. "Um. So. You want some water? I'll get you some water. And some ice Just to be on the safe side, tough guy!"
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
Despite Lydia's expectations, Ivan responds to her invitation to wind back the clock and have do-overs on how he might have handled the hug if he knew she wanted comfort by pulling her into a new hug, one hand to her back and the other to the back of her head.
He holds on for few moment like this and then retreats again, looking like he's trying to reset.
Lydia suggests there would be little point in choosing a planet based on fear, especially with people after her on both. Ivan concedes to this honestly kind of horrible point, but looks a little shellshocked when she mentions she's been happier lately on a timetable that coincides with meeting him.
I'll get you some water. And some ice Just to be on the safe side, tough guy!
"Y-you don't have to like patronize me," Ivan says, reddening. Why is she offering him water? He feels his own forehead to try to see if he's hot, although that's usually not a thing that works.
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
<poem>Lydia is shocked by Ivan SUBVERTING EXPECTATIONS but she closes her eyes, resting her head briefly on his shoulder and oh okay there he goes backpedaling again. But it was a really nice five or six seconds. Sometimes life's just about appreciating those six or so seconds you get to have, it seems.
"I-I'm not!" Lydia protests. "At least... I didn't think I was...?" She frowns. "I'm sorry, Ivan. But I um. What I mean is, it was a rough situation and we should probably drink some water and get some ice one your forehead in case, in case you caught something? An ounch of prevention is worth a pound of cure! I read that somewhere..."
She steps on in, "So I'll be right back!"
And she isn't gone long before she has a couple cups of water and an ice pack with her, offering the latter to Ivan first.
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
It was probably the 'tough guy' part that sounded sarcastic or insincere to Ivan, but regardless, he feels a bit bad for making her feel bad about it. He winces a little at the thought that the wording she used to dance around the topic of whether he was sick and avoid injuring his pride ended up... injuring his pride.
Is he really that sensitive? He's trying to be the opposite of sensitive...!
He accepts the ice pack and holds it uncertainly to his head.
"Uh, if I have a fever I'll be better in a bit," he says. "I already took something for it. It, uh... it doesn't happen often I guess, but it happens kind of... regularly. Pretty much whenever the last dose wears off."
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
It's understandable. Lydia was sort of aiming for mild affectionate teasing and that can be pretty close to patronizing if you aren't careful. Lydia doesn't consider Ivan weak or flimsy but she finds the way his heart makes itself known irregardless of Ivan's actual intentions to be rather sweet. If Ivan is trying to be the opposite of sensitive, he might need more training but it's also--honestly--kind of too late. If he starts trying to be insensitive now Lydia might actually just read it as him trying to protect her! WHICH IS SENSITIVE AND SWEET.
If, okay, sometimes kinda really frustrating.
"What do you take? Medicinally I mean. In case uh....you lose access to your supply because that happened to me...maybe can get Jay to wokr up a batch." Uggh why does the one pharmacist she knows have to be a terrorist now? It's super inconvenient!
She has some water herself and huffs out a breath before adding, "Is it helping?"
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
Ivan makes some uneasy faces at the question. "Uh, well, some of the ingredients are kind of rare so it costs... a non-trivial amount of money to get a batch. Generally also I don't want to ask for help from people I've tried to kill, either, so..." he waves his hands a little, dismissively. "I'm good with just getting it from where I'm already getting it whenever I can afford more. But I can't, like... just go off to another planet for a really long time or anything, for example..."
It's honestly a little nervewracking even to be across the ocean from his usual apothecary. He ordered a new batch a while back that hasn't arrived yet, though he still has stock to use in the meantime.
He uses one hand to hold the icepack obediently to his head and the other to sip at some water.
"Yeah, I'm feeling better."
He frowns down into the cup because she mentioned she regularly takes some kind of medicine as well. "Um, I guess this is personal so you don't have to answer, but... ... do you secretly have a serious illness or anything? Not that I do. Mine's pretty minor, nuisance kind of thing."
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.
"Well I get that," Lydia admits quietly. "But ... what if we end up somewhere and you can't rely on them? Wouldn't it be smart to plan ahead?" To be fair to Lydia here she has been involuntarily transplanted to another world three times now. Once or twice is coincidence but three times is a pattern and it just so happens that if Lydia finds herself teleported to ANOTHER DIMENSION she'd want to drag Ivan along. But it'd be hard for her to justify that if dragging him along means murdering him. "The ingredient might not even be as rare on Filgaia."
She pauses. "Well I mean, something to think about atl east, right?"
Ivan asks if SHE has a mysterious anime coughing disease or something worse pretty much and Lydia says, "Nah. I mean. I sort of told you about it before, but I took medicine for that. And also I guess...mood stablizers... but I haven't taken those for a while because I ran out and..."
And to be honest, she doesn't feel any different and she hasn't screamed at anybody that she wouldn't normally scream at so she's actually nervous to start up again. Maybe she never needed it. Or maybe something in her brain changed and she really doesn't want to think about that possibility.
"...Well if you say it's mostly just annoying..."Wait that probably isn't actually the case, Lydia!
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
"I am planning ahead, I'm stocking up as much as I can," Ivan grumps. The herbs he needs don't really grow on the Spiran continent, so having a second supplier on Spira would just entail asking someone else to order the same ingredients he's already ordering. He also doubts that a dying desert world will have rare Lunar herbs in abundance, but... who knows. It wouldn't be the craziest thing he'd learned about Filgaia, anyway.
"Ah, I see," he says, as she explains the purpose of her medicine. "I didn't know there was medicine for stabilizing moods..." You can kind of see Ivan speculating on whether he could medically switch all his feelings off. Bad Ivan. But still! Maybe Filgaia DOES have better medicine than Lunar does and he should think about that...? Like if they don't have the stupid rare herbs he needs to take forever, but what if they had something totally different that could be a cure? But no sense having Lydia fret about it, either way.
"Yeah, it's just annoying so there's no reason to worry about it either way!"