2023-11-23: Crying It Out

• Log: 2023-11-19 Cry It Out
• Cast: Gwen Whitlock, Lan Lilac, Ida Everstead-Rey
• Where: Sielje City
• Date: November 20, 2023
• Summary: After the disaster of What Must Be Done, the girls retreat to an inn in Sielje to lick their wounds.

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===============================<* Sielje City *>================================

A strange stone structure in the center of the Freykragg Isle houses a teleporter that leads to an astonishing sight: a school, a very town in the sky, floating far, far above Sielje suspended farther than even the birds fly, held up presumably by the same magic studied there.

Sielje, the namesake of the entire region, is said by the scholars to in truth be housed in a nearby dimension, close enough that it shares the same sky but distant enough to shield the atmosphere from the strange arcane energies that some of their work could call into being. Regardless, it cannot be reached by air; only by the teleporter.

The Academy has many programs of study, from sciences to sorceries, but it is most famous for two: its Crest Sorcery program, and the premier Observatory, perhaps the greatest place to study the heavens and their movements in all Filgaia. 

Outside the grand old structure of the Academy, a small town has sprung up, supporting the school and those who work and study there both. It is snowy, but cozy, if one avoids looking down and keeps warm. The observatory is out in this town. Looking up and to the sky, however, shows not just sky, but strange colors in the distance, perhaps the proof of the scholars' claims.

Whatever you do, though, don't fall off the walkways.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj2d8U-CO9E

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    There is one thing Gwen excels at, and it's delivering. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night, yadda yadda, she's got two packages and some crushed ribs and a lot of injuries, and that means she has *three* packages to deliver, including herself. And the closest place she knows that would be technically safe is... Sielje City.

    She's been there since that dreadful day she fought Leon while under the Blue-Eyed Assassin's control(?), but she has yet to ever stay there overnight. However, she's already coughing up blood from her injuries; she's got no choice. Gwen tries not to look to see if that inn that exploded has been rebuilt since then, and makes a note to let Leon or Lily know they should check in on Xantia.

    There's room in the back of the Halcyone for passengers, but Gwen doesn't say much to indicate where there's any seatbelts or buckles; she wanly goes to the controls, with a dull statement of where they're going once they're in the air.

    Slipping a warm poncho with bold colored patterns that identify it to be from Lunar's eastern half, Gwen has effectively covered her damaged clothing, sparing the group from something that could possibly draw unneeded attention.

    The moment she's 'delivered' Lan and Ida to a room (with three beds and a bathroom, a luxury courtesy of Seilje's college status, though likely still beneath what Ida may be used to), the 'flow state' of doing what is something close to her normal job wears off, and all that is left is...

    ".... I shouldn't stay here," she says, hoarsely. "....bad things happened last time I was here, but... it's gonna be a while before I can get ahold of Citan or someone else to take a proper look at me. If I start tryin' to attack you or whatever... just... punch me or something, I dunno." She gives a nod to Lan, as if to indicate *why* she's even mentioning it without stating a name for the man who has remained unnameable. "If the inn starts exploding, just run."

    She coughs, blood standing her glove. ".... Goddamn it..... Asgard... really did a number... on me..."

<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.

 
    It was a disaster.

    They'd only wanted to help.

    Hauled into Halcyone like a sack of potatoes, Lan had almost immediately curled herself into an achey tangle of limbs in the back. She isn't even hurt that bad, just a couple of deep cuts from Azoth's and Siegfried's blades! It's just. It was a disaster. And she'd been scared. And Gwen was badly hurt and Halcyone is still an enclosed Gear and Lan needs to do what she can to stay calm because Gwen and Ida are hurt and who knows if there's a doctor in Sielje who can see them and she restocked her medical supplies but Lan isn't a doctor or even a real medic and it's been forever since Loren last gave her a lesson and--

    Breathe. Just breathe. There's something she can do, so she'll do it. She can treat Ida's bite wounds with antiseptic and ointment for the most part, and bandage them. She can prepare her supplies for when they've got a room and the space to treat Gwen. Lan makes herself sit up and get to work.

    Her travel cloak is white, so it's no good to wear to cover her own injuries once they're in Sielje; she'll just have to hope nobody looks too closely at the uneven brown of her cold weather coat or its damage. Besides, surely even a college town like Sielje has injured travelers stop for the night often. She'll help carry what (or who) needs to be brought in. She'll save her limited healing energy for the big stuff.

    "Him?" is all she has to ask, when Gwen says that bad things happened. That she might go funny again. (The inn exploding is a new and worrying possibility Lan had not considered.) "...It's okay. Ida's super tough, we'll stop you no problem." Lan puts on a smile. "And I had some good times here, so maybe they'll all even out!"

    Her expression slides halfway off, into something that strains a bit to stay on. "I think he broke some of your ribs. Can you lie still long enough to let me check? I'm not Loren, but... oh, unless Ida's a good healer?" she realizes hopefully, turning her head towards the heiress.

<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.

    Ida's recovered from worse than this, but damn if that wasn't a close call. She spent the trip to Sielje trying to meditate while Lan tended to her injured arm--an arm already marked with old bite scars from her first encounter with Reapers. An arm bleeding Hyadean quicksilver as well as human crimson. Once Lan got the wounds disinfected, Ida instructed her to bind them. Her body would do the rest. All she needs is a bit of camouflage.

    The first thing Ida does, upon entering the room, is to strip off her cloak and hang it on a peg. It's in desperate need of cleaning and repair, and so is the armor beneath.

    "What?" Ida says, turning to Gwen with an owlish, groggy blink. "What do you--" Regrettably, there is no uninjured party to perform triage. "Who's he?" Her brow furrows with concern.

    "Lie down, Gwen," Ida says. "I'll--I have berry cordials." She glances aside at Lan, her face tightening. "If she's injured that badly, she needs a hospital."

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    Gwen angles her head against to glance back at Ida, over her shoulder. ".... The guy who attacked you, forever ago, n' enabled me to have Setanta's spark in me for so long without goin' nuts... until he needed to set it off. Still have no name for him, so me n' Lan have had to do with our own names. Now, even those feel like they're enough to summon him out of the walls. He's still a problem, but... I think he's just been bidin' his time like usual. Waitin' until one of us is weak enough to ask him for a hand."

    She doesn't argue at the suggestion to lie down; she's carefully slipped out of her poncho, revealing the slashed blouse and the garments underneath, which could easily be mistaken for ones worn for vanity reasons until those are slipped off to show the decades old scar tissue they help keep in check with the side of her body that isn't similarly scarred. Underneath is a white tank top and shorts, as well as the usual undergarments, doing nothing to cover the faint red glow of the heart of her chest and back, or the heavy, mundane cloud of freckles on her shoulders and upper chest.

    Several years ago, it was hard for Gwen to even consider doing this in front of close friends, but now, she doesn't care. It's a boon here, as she slumps onto the mattress unceremoniously.

    "Ida, you know what'd happen if either of us walked into a random hospital, we n' Lan'd have t'wrestle every aspirin' doctor n' scholar t'get back out. Just... do what you guys can, let me work out my issues, n' punch me if I start talkin' all funny 'bout 'people bein' left behind' or some shit." She's already talking funny, but not in the way Gwen likely meant. It's a bitter tone, something tired and hurt in a way Gwen's rarely, if ever, sounded before. She's certainly been this sad, and this tired, but not hollow.

    ".... I don't want to see anyone, right now. Gonna have nightmares as it is. I just...." She bites back tears. ".... It's Siegfried. I bet a lot of Hyadeans are gonna be glad he's back. And if he has the face of some dead guy a lotta people hated, well, who cares? He can waltz, and do whatever he wants, because Janus is dead... and... fuck...." Her face reddens with tears. ".... Asgard had a point about learnin' to move on, but how the hell could I when I know that's Janus's face? He'll cover it up, he might scar it, or change it, but... Janus... I wanted him to...." Her left hand covers her face. ".... I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. Or be the one t'kill him myself... But I guess... it doesn't matter what I think, does it? Everyone gets Siegfried."

<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.

 
    She's seen it before, on the battlefield, though Lan has never had the time to sit and admire it until now. The beautiful shine of Hyadean quicksilver in Ida's blood. It's a shame that it's supposed to be on the inside, Lan thinks distractedly, and then has to check herself privately for any outside influence of her own.

    Nope. Just normal panic thoughts. Okay. Still weird, even for Lan, but okay.

    "Cordials would be great! Can you please get them out?" She wishes Loren were here. She's going to beat some sense into him. But first he could fix Gwen up. It's the least he could do after that nonsense with the, the weird box and the poor Wels and. And just all of it. Lan strips out of her coat, mouth thinning at the tug of dried blood and crusted fabric on her own wounds. She'll fix them up last. All the bleeding is sluggish now and little of her motion is hampered.

    "I don't know for sure that they are. I'm gonna find out," Lan explains, stripping out of her sweater and boots in the warmth of the room. She leaves her chest wrap and long pants on and sets about spreading the contents of her rucksack in groups on the floor. Bandages. Jars of antiseptic and ointment. Packets of herbs. A flat piece of quartz crystal the size of a hand. A dented kettle. A change of clothes, for after. "--You too, Ida?" she asks, looking up and getting to her feet. "Even just calling him the Stranger feels like..." Like he knows. Like he's listening.

    Lan brings the quartz over to Gwen's bedside. "I know. You don't have to see anybody right now except us." She's quiet as Gwen talks, otherwise. She holds the quartz at a comfortable distance from her eyes and lets it go; it hovers there, lighting up with silvery glyphs. Lan draws on the star in her heart and a three-dimensional constellation flares into existence above Gwen. It's human-shaped, made of dozens of points of light and leylines that flow between them.

    It's the hardest spell she ever created and it takes a lot of concentration still, but Lan wanted a diagnostic tool, so she made one.

<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.

    For a brief moment, Ida is no longer looking at Gwen, but through her, into the past. Faint, flickering memories bubble up in her mind--the face of a man, pale and smudged like watercolor that bled through. A cityscape she doesn't recognize. Cold rain. A sense of vertigo.

    Ida bites the inside of her cheek--not enough to draw blood, but enough to be painful. "Him," she says, and things become that much more grave. "Yes. Let me." Ida pats a sealed pouch on her molly webbing, and the metal lining clinks. She undoes the strap and pulls out two small bottles from the foam-lined interior--Heal Berry cordials. As Gwen speaks, Ida undoes the cork, and listens. "All right," she says. "But if you get worse, we're taking you there. No arguments." Still, she sees where Gwen's coming from. Ida can hide her injuries, wash the suspicious blood off, but Gwen...

    Ida keeps listening. When Gwen is done speaking, Ida offers her the vial. "I'm sorry," she says.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "It happened a long time ago," Gwen tells Lan, craning her face towards her. "... fair 'nough. Still would prefer someone like Citan. Nothing I throw at him would phase him." A smile snakes up her lips. "... Don't bother tellin' Loren t'come either, Lan. He's Solarian, n' everyone's on high alert. Just focus on giving him a good sock to the jaw for me instead. But... he'll likely want to know you're okay, though."

    There's definitely cracked ribs, and other injuries consistent with something with the strength of a speeding train slamming and yanking the courier around like a rag doll. It's a miracle there isn't *more* than that, probably a testament to the amount of defense Gwen gains while in that state.

    But in the end, ARM or no, Gwen is still human everywhere else.

    Normally, Gwen would be focused on their injuries, or coming in to somehow make everything seem just a little bit brighter.

    She's going to at least try, sitting up to-- nono, that's a bad idea, nope, not doing that. "... You guys' injuries... there's supplies still left in the Halcyone, y'know." She then winces. "... Goddamn it... my satchel probably got toasted... damn it, if I hadn't been so gungho 'bout helping Loren... bet he blames me for gettin' involved in the first place, n' draggin' you along, Lan."

    She sighs. "... What the hell was even in that tube, anyway...? What sort of thing is worth all this song n' dance? Or was it just the excuse for it?" She coughs another laugh, closing her eyes. ".... Maybe that's all it was... probably somethin' bad if Solaris was having it locked away in some tube, but, there's probably a million more where that came from."

    Hearing Ida's words feels like it *should* help, but she keeps seeing the line of Janus's mouth, doing things it never did. ".... I probably won't hold back if I see Siegfried again. You two realize that, right? Not until I get the resolution for Janus that he needs. He... yeah, he was a shithead, but... every person deserves some dignity in death. Otherwise... what's anything for?"

    

<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.

 
    "..." Lan can't even say she would rather the world have Janus. She knows that Siegfried means a lot to the Hyadeans, and to Riesenlied. She knows that Janus means a lot to Gwen. Siegfried had nearly killed Loren (even if he had a right to try) and Janus had been a repeating troublemaker and general pain. But Gwen cared about him. She still does.

    Ida brought along better medicine than just about anything Lan could throw together, at least! "Perfect. Gwen, try and drink that, okay?" The shaman squints at the connections and their points in the torso area of the starlit figure. The energy flows aren't messed up too much, and none of the relays are out of place. "I don't think anything is broken but you probably cracked at least a few ribs. I think there's some muscle tearing in your arm and there's some inflammation or damage where your ARM connects to your body. But I don't think you'll need to see a doctor real soon, like you'll-die-if-you-don't-soon. So that's good!" Even if cheer comes so naturally to Lan, it still feels like a forced and hollow thing right now. She lets the quartz drop into her outstretched hand, and the starfield winks out.

    "Don't worry about Loren. I'm mad at him. It would be better if Doctor Citan could come anyway." She's going to kick his ass. He knows better. He should know better!! "Ida, she'll probably need you to support her upper body while she drinks." The last thing Gwen needs right now is to drown in Heal Berry cordial.

    She's picking up a couple of rolls of extra-thick bandages when Gwen speaks about the tube. "I couldn't see too much, but it looked like a person. But the outside of it said 'Millions Knives.'" Lan remembers, because it doesn't make sense. It should be Millions Of Knives. "But if Solaris had it... I can't imagine it'll be anything good."

    Lan will wrap Gwen's ribs to support them, and try to get the least damaged of her support garments back on on top of that. "... I know. I don't... that was a person. He was a person and he died and now his body is just... wandering around with someone else inside of it." If Lan thinks about it too hard she's going to throw up. Not because she knew Janus, but because some things are wrong. "So I think it's fine to cry all you want, you know? Because that's fucked up."

<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.

    Ida glances at the floating constellation, her lips curling into a thoughtful frown. Is that a map of Gwen's meridians? It's... familiar in that way. She hands over the first vial, then offers the second to Lan. "Do you need this?" she says. "I--" The dull pain in her ribs grows sharper. Ida grimaces. "On second thought." Her frown turns apologetic; she uncorks the cordial and downs it in two long swigs.

    "Loren's a friend of yours," she says, looking to Gwen, and then to Lan. She kneels beside Gwen, reaching out with her good arm to help support her as she drinks. Needling the two of them about being friends with a Solarian is the last thing she needs to do, and it's not like she has space to talk.

    "A name, maybe?" says Ida, turning to Lan as she mentions the label on the tube. "I don't know where we'd begin to follow up--that base is a crater, now."

    "I--I know," Ida says, as Gwen vents some. "I--"

    She trails off, seeing the building queasiness in Lan's eyes. Her face pulls tight.

    Lan saw her bleed.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

     Ida looks at the cordial and drinks. ".... you guys drink first. Once I start I'm not gonna be able to stop."

    It gives her time to talk, anyways. ".... I don't think Loren'd consider me that. But, yeah. Loren's a friend." Gwen finally lets herself grin. "If he was just sitting there bein' an ass instead of bein' a medic, it would have been a different story--" She coughs, and winces. "For some reason, he never thought that it'd draw attention from the people he wanted to keep away. But... yeah. He's also been dragged into this whole mess with the Stranger at least once or twice, too. Don't get me wrong; we've fought, and I've likely screwed him over a few times in messing up Solaris's plans. But... he's someone in the Solaris army. Not Solaris itself."

    Gwen readies herself as Ida kneels by her; moving upwards, even with help, is still painful now that she's allowed herself to lie down. Her lips stretch thin, and she grunts, lifting herself up just enough and letting Ida's support keep her steady.

    Once the Berry Cordial meets Gwen's lips, Ida may sense something fire in the Mockingbird- an instinct, or a drive. It's something Gwen forecasted, at least, as she begins thirstily drinking from the bottle with a focus pinpointed on survival.

    "..... put it.... on the bill," she then says, drawing from the now empty bottle. ".... Sorry, body's gonna be wantin' anything it can to get back to stable." She numbly wipes her mouth with her left arm. "... So, there was a someone in there? You sure it wasn't 'Millions of Knives' or... I dunno. Makes no sense either way. ... First I've ever heard of it. Or that person, if that's the name and not a designation."

    She eases herself back down onto the bed, squeezing her eyes shut. She was so focused that she never even paid attention to the tube itself.

    ".... It's fucked up." It seems to make the rest of the words Ida and Lan have said click in. "... It *is* fucked up. .... I'm not... stupid, for thinkin' that, right? That... I could care about Janus... and that... he deserved that chance to rest, and just... die a human being." Tears begin prickling at the corners of her eyes again, but they feel... a little like some amount of relief, but also, something desperate. "... Lan.... Ida... do you think Asgard was right...? That I insult Janus's memory, because can't accept? Am I forgetting what I should be doin', because my heart is tellin' me it hurts to see it? Or am I just bein' selfish, and assumin' that because that's just what I want?"

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

     Ida looks at the cordial and drinks. ".... you guys drink first. Once I start I'm not gonna be able to stop."

    It gives her time to talk, anyways. ".... I don't think Loren'd consider me that. But, yeah. Loren's a friend." Gwen finally lets herself grin. "If he was just sitting there bein' an ass instead of bein' a medic, it would have been a different story--" She coughs, and winces. "For some reason, he never thought that it'd draw attention from the people he wanted to keep away. But... yeah. He's also been dragged into this whole mess with the Stranger at least once or twice, too. Don't get me wrong; we've fought, and I've likely screwed him over a few times in messing up Solaris's plans. But... he's someone in the Solaris army. Not Solaris itself."

    Gwen readies herself as Ida kneels by her; moving upwards, even with help, is still painful now that she's allowed herself to lie down. Her lips stretch thin, and she grunts, lifting herself up just enough and letting Ida's support keep her steady.

    Once the Berry Cordial meets Gwen's lips, Ida may sense something fire in the Mockingbird- an instinct, or a drive. It's something Gwen forecasted, at least, as she begins thirstily drinking from the bottle with a focus pinpointed on survival.

    "..... put it.... on the bill," she then says, drawing from the now empty bottle. ".... Sorry, body's gonna be wantin' anything it can to get back to stable." She numbly wipes her mouth with her left arm. "... So, there was a someone in there? You sure it wasn't 'Millions of Knives' or... I dunno. Makes no sense either way. ... First I've ever heard of it. Or that person, if that's the name and not a designation."

    She eases herself back down onto the bed, squeezing her eyes shut. She was so focused that she never even paid attention to the tube itself.

    ".... It's fucked up." It seems to make the rest of the words Ida and Lan have said click in. "... It *is* fucked up. .... I'm not... stupid, for thinkin' that, right? That... I could care about Janus... and that... he deserved that chance to rest, and just... die a human being." Tears begin prickling at the corners of her eyes again, but they feel... a little like some amount of relief, but also, something desperate. "... Lan.... Ida... do you think Asgard was right...? That I insult Janus's memory, because can't accept? Am I forgetting what I should be doin', because my heart is tellin' me Janus would've wanted somethin' else?"? Or am I just bein' selfish, and assumin' that because that's just what I want?"

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

     Ida looks at the cordial and drinks. ".... you guys drink first. Once I start I'm not gonna be able to stop."

    It gives her time to talk, anyways. ".... I don't think Loren'd consider me that. But, yeah. Loren's a friend." Gwen finally lets herself grin. "If he was just sitting there bein' an ass instead of bein' a medic, it would have been a different story--" She coughs, and winces. "For some reason, he never thought that it'd draw attention from the people he wanted to keep away. But... yeah. He's also been dragged into this whole mess with the Stranger at least once or twice, too. Don't get me wrong; we've fought, and I've likely screwed him over a few times in messing up Solaris's plans. But... he's someone in the Solaris army. Not Solaris itself."

    Gwen readies herself as Ida kneels by her; moving upwards, even with help, is still painful now that she's allowed herself to lie down. Her lips stretch thin, and she grunts, lifting herself up just enough and letting Ida's support keep her steady.

    Once the Berry Cordial meets Gwen's lips, Ida may sense something fire in the Mockingbird- an instinct, or a drive. It's something Gwen forecasted, at least, as she begins thirstily drinking from the bottle with a focus pinpointed on survival.

    "..... put it.... on the bill," she then says, drawing from the now empty bottle. ".... Sorry, body's gonna be wantin' anything it can to get back to stable." She numbly wipes her mouth with her left arm. "... So, there was a someone in there? You sure it wasn't 'Millions of Knives' or... I dunno. Makes no sense either way. ... First I've ever heard of it. Or that person, if that's the name and not a designation."

    She eases herself back down onto the bed, squeezing her eyes shut. She was so focused that she never even paid attention to the tube itself.

    ".... It's fucked up." It seems to make the rest of the words Ida and Lan have said click in. "... It *is* fucked up. .... I'm not... stupid, for thinkin' that, right? That... I could care about Janus... and that... he deserved that chance to rest, and just... die a human being." Tears begin prickling at the corners of her eyes again, but they feel... a little like some amount of relief, but also, something desperate. "... Lan.... Ida... do you think Asgard was right...? That I insult Janus's memory, because can't accept? Am I forgetting what I should be doin', because my heart is tellin' me Janus would've wanted somethin' else? Or am I just bein' selfish, and assumin' that because that's just what I want?"

[OOC] Gwen Whitlock says, "bluray: use last poseee"

<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.

 
    Ida offers her a vial of cordial, and Lan shakes her head. Her wounds aren't anything awful anymore, and she's worried about the Wels bites anyway. Teeth carry a lot of those 'germ' things. She waves it off with a laugh when Ida ends up drinking it herself.

    But Loren is a friend of theirs. "Yeah," Lan agrees without hesitating, even after what he did earlier. Because... just because. She can't explain it and probably can't defend it either, so she won't try unless pressed. Besides, she is so tired of explaining that she was brainwashed for months. She misinterprets Ida's pinched expression. "--Did it not work?" she asks, frowning. Can cordials expire??

    "Well, it was person-shaped, I think," she dithers a bit. The more she tries to examine the memory, the more it dances out of her grasp. Like a napkin in the wind. "It is fucked up," she agrees sadly.

    She works in silence for a short while, as Gwen sorts through her tangled feelings. "...I think he was saying it because he has a weird idea of honoring people's memory. Maybe he wanted to hurt you in ways that being slammed on the ground wouldn't." Finally everything has been cleaned up as well as she can, Lan wraps her arm and changes the bandage underneath her ribs. And then, finally, blessedly, she climbs into the bed next to Gwen. "I don't know. But I know that if you wanted to insult anybody's memory, you couldn't do it by crying for them."

<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.

    "No charge," Ida says, managing a little smile. She's joking--she wouldn't dream of charging an injured person for essential supplies--but maybe Gwen was, too. "I think you might've saved Loren's life, regardless, to be certain to rub that in when you see him next."

    "You're not wrong for being angry, Gwen," Ida manages, after a moment of consideration. It takes effort to put the words together, between her exhaustion and her injuries and the uncomfortable familiarity in Siegfried's current state. "I don't know if Asgard would talk to you about what happened to Janus, in the end, but... I do think you deserve to know. And you're not wrong for grieving, and for wanting him to rest."

    "What would be wrong," Ida says, and she meets Gwen's eyes, "is taking it out on those who love and care for Siegfried. He's done horrific things, but Riesenlied and Noeline care about him, like you care about Janus."

    Now, she finally answers Lan's question. "No, it's working. I was... just. This is uncomfortable for me, but for a different reason. One of Siegfried's old comrades lives on in me, and has for years."

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

No charge. ".... Not even a discount, eh?" Gwen is willing to joke now, at least; the cordial has settled some of the pain-related parts of her turmoil. "... N' yeah, I plan to, next time I see Loren." It'll likely depend on how much she still cares about making it a point when she sees Loren next, Gwen thinks to herself. "It'll stick more if Lan does it, though. I mean, I *was* the one that got you there in the first place, Lan." The latter she says to Lan directly. "If he mentions that, you can tell him we landed to protect his ass, whether he wanted it or not. Maybe puttin' their medics in harm's way is the way they do things in Solaris, but down here..." Her smile is long and thin. ".... we don't act like barbarians."

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    No charge. ".... Not even a discount, eh?" Gwen is willing to joke now, at least; the cordial has settled some of the pain-related parts of her turmoil. "... N' yeah, I plan to, next time I see Loren." It'll likely depend on how much she still cares about making it a point when she sees Loren next, Gwen thinks to herself. "It'll stick more if Lan does it, though. I mean, I *was* the one that got you there in the first place, Lan." The latter she says to Lan directly. "If he mentions that, you can tell him we landed to protect his ass, whether he wanted it or not. Maybe puttin' their medics in harm's way is the way they do things in Solaris, but down here..." Her smile is long and thin. ".... we don't act like barbarians."

    'There was a person' and 'it was person-shaped' make it more vague. "... Maybe they're really good knives? Or it's like when you put somethin' shaped like a person under the covers so you can slip out, only, Solaris did it with knives n' forgot to tell anyone." She coughs again; this time, at least, it's just phlegm.

    Even more mysterious is Asgard. Gwen sighs. "Dunno if he really does consider Janus a friend or not. Part of me thought it was him bein' sarcastic at first, n' he just didn't do a good job of showin' it. But I dunno anymore. I'll have to force the answer out of them." Pause. "... but using my own strength. That's the only kinda question they'll accept. Asgard told me a little, before, n' there, I was kind willin' to accept it all." The courier glowers at the ceiling. "... Damn it... goin' to Lunar really did a number on me. ... I wanted to just lay back n' build back my savings. Even in death...."

    But it's not Janus's fault that Gwen cares, is it?

    Ida hits a specific point that had sat uncomfortably in Gwen's gut, an element of cognitive dissonance that refuses to settle. ".... Yeah." She sighs, gritting her teeth as she shifts around-- all the better to let Lan crawl into the bed with her. ".... Can't be mad at them for just wantin' their dad. I..." She grimaces again. ".... I... don't want to hurt them. None of it is their fault. None of the Hyadeans. They're tryin' to find places to be and live. Siegfried might come in n' destroy all that, and--" But it's still just about her, right? Not about the groups she's found, the friends she's made. Zed, Gunther, Riese, so many more. She doesn't know what it's like to be them, or being forced to fit a mold of convincing humanity.

    Ida refers to Fafnir, and Gwen's head pops up, her attention focused squarely on her now. "... Didn't think of that part. Is he responding because of Siegfried? I guess I just kinda... kept thinkin' you two got along like peas in a pod sometimes because your goals would usually fall along similar lines." A terrifying thought-- what if Ida has to deal with Fafnir trying to go to help Siegfried. "I met him a few times, in dreams, I think. So... I guess that kinda makes me forget it ain't as simple as what I think he's like. I'm not even sure I was myself, either?" She frowns. "I mean, I was myself, because... I mean, I know I was myself, but I was different? Or maybe it was other me?"

<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.

 
    'What would be wrong is taking it out on those who love and care for Siegfried.'

    Well of course it would be wrong. Who would do that? Careful of Gwen's aches and pains, Lan reaches out across the courier to pull her into a brief, careful one-armed kind of hug. Into it she weaves a bit of healing, the most she can manage for someone else without manifesting her Gear in the middle of an inn. Ida's cordial will do the heavy lifting. She's dropping a friendly peck onto the crown of Gwen's head (non-magical, entirely intended to comfort) when Ida begins to explain.

    "A comra--pfft," Lan is interrupted by a hair in her mouth and wisely stops clinging so closely. "A comrade?" she tries again, after wiping her tongue off.

    Somewhere, two dots reach towards each other.

    "If it hurts, don't force it," Lan advises kindly, settling on her side on the blankets. But Gwen continues Ida's line of speaking and Lan's head pops up off the pillow, followed by her upper body as she pushes up to look curiously over at Ida.. "After all, it's-- wait, like it's literally a guy?" The dots, they're so close now...! Lan stares off into space, at the wall somewhere past Ida's head.

    "Oh! The silver!" Lan raises both hands to clap once, in enlightenment -- and falls back onto the covers, unsupported. "--oof!"

<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.

    "I don't think it's literal knives, Gwen," Ida says, her tone growing a bit more delicate to offset the bluntness. "Siegfried and Asgard knew exactly what--or more likely, who--they were after." She gives Gwen's shoulder a gentle, supportive squeeze. "We'll find out, one way or another. All right?" She lets out a weak laugh. "You, too? I thought it was just me who felt like they were gwtting soft."

    Ida nods. She didn't think Gwen would go down the same awful road she did, but... no harm in validating her anger, either way. She has every right to it. "I... think so?" Ida says. "We can't communicate most of the time--if he feels strongly, I'll feel it too, but that's... mostly it." At the mention of the dreams, Ida nods. "I think that may be the only time he can be his whole self. But--"

    Lan puts the dots together, at long last. Ida sucks in a breath. "Do you want the whole explanation, Lan?"

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    Gwen laughs, causing another wince. "But it'd be funny if it was, right? Think of how goddamn heavy it'd be. Asgard havin' t balance it th' right way, or all of the knives'd come crashing out."

    In some ways, Gwen has gone down that road; just not the same one as Ida. ".... I wanna find a way to deal with it. A true way. I'm guessin' is that Janus would'ved wanted someone t'kill Siegfried, but, I can't get behind that. I don't think Siegfried even understands why I was so angry." She wraps a hand around Lan's back; the touch would read as comfort to Ida's eyes. Almost familial in tone. She chuckles underneath her breath as Lan gives Gwen a peck at her crown. "Augh, Lan, my hair's all dirty n' nasty-like. Y'don't want that in your mout- see?"

    Lan is slowly beginning to connect the dots, and Gwen flops back. ".... Yeah, sorry. Ida's been kinda keepin' it on the down-low. It's kinda like my situation, but... not. There's no ghost in my ARM. Riese helped me figure out that it was made from a fossil of a metal dragon egg, but Ida..." Even from this angle, Gwen's mouth is clearly set in a frown. "... Yeah, this might be an issue we can't ignore. But it might be somethin' you can turn in your favor, Ida, if you both are able to--"

    Ida asks if Lan wants the whole explanation, and Gwen quiets, not wanting to reveal more than she should accidentally.

<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.

 
    "Maybe they reused a container," Lan muses, lying back against the pillow. "Maybe that's really someone's name." That poor whoever-it-is.

    Lan is, as a rule, somewhat curious. At least she can sure ask a lot of questions, rapid-fire, in a row. But she's never been one to press for answers, never been someone to demand the truth. (Half the time she gets distracted before the answers could be given, anyway.) "There's nothing wrong with wanting a softer life. Or with wanting to be nice and comfortable!" So it really is a guy. Maybe someone that Ida dreams. Maybe someone that's dreaming Ida.

    The Dreaming is funny like that.

    "I would like to know," Lan answers, after a moment. "But if it'll be uncomfortable to talk about, or if you don't want to, I don't need to. You're still Ida." Ida won't have changed, one way or another. What Lan knows about the world doesn't change it.

    She streeeeetches, wiggling her toes now that they're finally free from her boots. "I never... thought about what ARMs are made of." But with how Gwen talks about it, and Ida, Lan is starting to have something uncomfortably close to an epiphany. "But I don't think... even if Janus would want vengeance, even if you were the type to get it for him, I don't think it'd be the right way to go." She doesn't like to think about things like deserving. And Gwen doesn't need to be reminded yet again that Janus had made his own bed, and that he would have to lie in it.

<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.

    Ida manages another lame laugh at the mental image Gwen conjures. "I don't think he does, either," she says, her tone growing sober. "He was always... driven. He and Riesenlied have that in common." Even if father and daughter have taken this trait in different directions. "Are you ready to lie back down?" she asks Gwen.

    The martial artist nods as her friend leads her in. "His name is Fafnir. I... wouldn't call him a ghost," she says. "More like a symbiote. One living thing that helps another, and is helped in return." Ida takes a breath, and glances at Gwen, reassuring herself a little. This wouldn't be the first time she's given this speech.

    "The short version is that one of my ancestors fought him, lost her arm, and, in an act of desperation, bonded his arm to her body. It... changed, and nobody thought it was anything more than a cybernetic, like Gwen's; it stayed attached to her until she died. All that survived was a legend of a fantastic ARM--" And there's a subtle change in emphasis there-- "That was used by the legendary Demon Fist, centuries ago."

    "I wanted that. That power, that legacy. I didn't know what it was, much less that it was still alive, much less that something of its original owner still remained."

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "... Don't think it's the way, either. It's Janus's way that got him where he is, for better or worse, n' enabled more at least one evil to get into this world: the Bandit King Ganondorf. N' now, on a lot more complicated angle I can't call 'evil', Siegfried. I've already committed myself to tryin' to quash Ganondorf's schemes when they pop up, but Siegfried... I dunno what his angle even is. I guess... all I can go for are answers. N'... there might not even be any, after what's already been said." Something sags in Gwen's shoulders again, and something tired rises in her eyes. ".... I... feel helpless. But not in the kinda way where I want more power, or whatever. I ain't goin' down that road. It's the act that hurts me. Siegfried did it, and didn't understand why it could hurt someone else. So... I can't trust him. I can't trust a man who thinks his ends justify his means."

    But that's a topic that Gwen is already going in circles over. Better to shift it to ARMS. Lifting up her own, now fully exposed, Gwen says, "That's just one way ARMs could be made. There's others. Kinda screwed up, when you think about it, but, it's made me understand, just a little, what a Hyadean goes through too. Always havin' to hide some part of yourself, just t'fit in. Makin' jokes and actin' silly, just in case they find out what you might be capable of. I don't mind it, because it's a life I never would've had, otherwise. Made me think about people, n' how we don't actually need those boxes to live. We just think we do."

    Ida looks to Gwen, and, propped up on her pillow, Gwen gives a single nod. "... Lan's a good'un." Ida can trust Lan.

    And some of these details are good for Gwen to run over, too. "... Funny, I keep thinkin' your ancestor and him would've been friends, somehow. But I guess it's more a matter of bein' on separate sides, not who they were. Fafnir ain't like Siegfried, but I guess that's the difference between the roles they played."

    

<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.

 
    'Symbiote' doesn't mean anything to Lan. Loren's medical lessons hadn't gone that far into biology or ecology - they were mostly a crash course in anatomy and how to keep someone from bleeding out before they can be healed. But Ida's explanation sparks recognition, after a moment. "Like aphids and ants," she considers. Or friends. ...Though it certainly doesn't sound like friendship, to hear how Ida's ancestor gained it.

    "You were younger," Lan guesses, because she's seen Ida bleed before. And it had been strange, but there had always been other things to worry about and Lan decided that if nobody else was going to act like it was strange then she wouldn't either. Maybe a lot of people bleed like that and Lan just didn't know it. "Young people do jump the gun plenty."

    When she thinks about how she greeted the Stranger the first time they met... ugh. Stupid.

    "But don't worry,"Lan tries to reassure Ida with a grin. "I won't tell anybody." It seems to be delicate, and Lan won't claim to have any idea what it could mean.

    Between Ida and Gwen and their ARMs, Lan is sort of starting to realize just how lucky she is that her village's treasure is a Medium and not, say, a sleeping Hyadean ancestor in a spare body part. "Try not to worry too much about everything until you've both healed up, okay? I know it's hard not to. But just try, okay?" Because when in doubt, there's always comforting to be done.

<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.

    "I can hazard a guess," Ida says, "but I'd rather hear it from the man himself." Ugh. She's just realizing how dirty she is, she needs a hot bath, she needs to wash and dry and comb her hair. "He said he owed Filgaia a debt, and that's remarkably vague." And like Gwen said, Siegfried believes his ends justify the means. Part of Ida sincerely hopes he's changed, but...

    Lan, bless her heart, tries to comfort her. Ida smiles. "It's been... a few years," she says, and she flexes her right hand to show Lan--and herself--that it still works. "I appreciate your patience, and your silence." But Gwen's point...

    "Maybe they could've," Ida says. "He did terrible things to her. To so many people. I still don't know what he'd do, if--if he had the same chance Siegfried got."

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "There's been more than one guy who's tried to repay Filgaia by gettin' rid of some group of people or another, like the planet's a game of musical chairs." Gwen sighs, stiffly trying to wiggle her toes and feet under the covers, then decides against it. ".... we don't got time for that. For worryin', or otherwise. It ain't worryin' if I'm just spectulatin' n' thinkin' ahead. It's bein' prepared." Reaching up, Gwen ruffles the taller Lan's hair. "I'm feelin' better already, thanks t'you two. I don't wanna waste any time." Wince. "... Well, okay, I'll slow down t'sleep n' heal. N' eat. If I wasn't so grossed out I'd likely be stuffin' my face right now."

    It still keeps flashing in her mind, all the ways that face looked so *unlike* Janus, but how Gwen could still tell. Bodies have things like brains, which house the parts that make up a person, according to Frea. How does that all work here? Gwen's no mindreader.

    Even if Janus did suddenly pop up, it just means she'd have to kill him, to keep him from hurting more people.

    She feels... more tired, now.

    Maybe she *is* worrying too much.

    "It's been a rollercoaster the past few years. Y'can't blame a gal for wantin' somethin' from her ancestors that might promise a boon. But maybe, Fafnir's managed t'see a little bit of life through your eyes, n' your efforts to build bridges between people, Ida--"

     Gwen immediately regrets her words. "Sorry, Ida... that wasn't great of me t'say. I guess I just kept puttin' my idea of things over the reality." The covers are looking more and more divine by the second. ".... You guys go call straws on the shower. I'm gonna do my best impression of a log for the rest of the day. The room's on me, so, take advantage of it."