User:Hats
Hats is only on fire some of the time.
Hats doesn't sleep, he waits.
Hats only comes once a year, but twice on leap years.
Hats stays crunchy, even in milk.
Hats rotates nearly perpendicular to the ecliptic.
Hats comes with a free Frogurt.
Alts
- Catenna aka Not actually Sailor Moon
- Talise Gianfair aka The lady who keeps asking if you even lift
- Neriah Parringer aka That girl your mom told you not to hang around with
- Clarissa Arwin aka A dude playing a dude disguised as another dude
- Lorelei Calice aka How can there even be this much holy nyan
The ones Hats used to be
On SRT: Vaasa Kyne, the space diva with the robot made of weaponized Star Trek. Caelan Zal Eskun, who could see the time. Zolom Tan Tarion and Franz von Staffel, the two guys who took off their shirts a lot. Anna Leszczyszyn, basically Slavic Ryuko with an unspellable and unpronounceable surname. Arken Gryslan, the most tolerant and cosmopolitan man in the world with the exception of literally everyone else. Sharon Apple, who is absolutely not Miku. And a few others.
When you can find Hats
Evenings and weekends EST; don't even ask him to MUSH from work, lest the "In" tray on his desk also devour your succulent flesh.